Chapter 1 of my book, sit down it's amazing |
Chapter 1The Ridiculous SoundAt just after seven o'clock in the morning on a crisp spring day in April, Alan awoke to a ridiculous sound. The sound was something like the air being let out of a balloo...
Posted by Jonnie Haymaker on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 04:45:00 PST |
My Indomitable Spirit |
I am blessed with an indomitable spirit. Nothing gets me down. Like, the other day, I got into a little fender bender. I was backing out of the driveway and smacked right into the paperboy. The...
Posted by Jonnie Haymaker on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 12:34:00 PST |
poem |
A Poem About Showing Emotion
Im Not Afraid to Show EmotionWhen a loved one diesWhen a baby cries When a retard triesIm not afraid to show emotion.When my ball team winsWhen with dolphin I swimsWhen t...
Posted by Jonnie Haymaker on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 11:19:00 PST |
Instructions for the cleaning lady |
Dear Cleaning Lady,Hi there. I hope you have a great time cleaning my house today. Sorry I couldn't be here in person to help you out on your first day, but I have a real job. (Just kidding!!!) Anyway...
Posted by Jonnie Haymaker on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 12:14:00 PST |
CONGRATULATIONS bastard |
Hey New York plate SDM 770, let me be the first to offer you my hearty congratulations. Why? Because you just gained admission to a very exclusive club. What kind of club? It goes by the name of MY SH...
Posted by Jonnie Haymaker on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 12:09:00 PST |
AL QAEDA ATTEMPT ON METRO!!! |
Al-Qaeda attempts to bomb Metro were foiled when: AQ Bomber # 1 arrives at Woodley Park-Zoo station and discovers the escalator is out-of-order. Bomb kills him before he can get all the way downs...
Posted by Jonnie Haymaker on Sun, 14 Aug 2005 11:53:00 PST |
