8983221 - ProfilesArchive

About Me

[on the surface/in the deep end/no separation] i'm working hard, very hard to be me and maintain my individuality. i've lost some of me and i've settled for something less than me before. i'm working on a plan to better myself and my current situation. its a struggle. its life. i work hard at a job within public service. i know i could do better. i mean better than this job. i'm hoping i get the opportunity sooner rather than later. i'm married in all meanings of the word. i love my husband and would do anything to protect my family. anything. but dont challenge that. after all, i was born in east la. i could take you. hehehe. in actuality i'm not a violent person. i'm really tiny and most everyone who is taller than me intimidates me... so that's pretty much everyone. but my dad could beat up your dad so i'm fairly certain i'm safe. i love you, dad. i've been told that when i speak, its like i'm reading from a script. dont be fooled. i just know "my truths." i think constantly about everything around me, my reactions, my options. there is always a choice. i know that. when i choose to talk about something serious, its usually something i've played in my head for a while. when the situation arises, i know exactly what i want to say (but usually i dont know how to say it)... does anyone understand that? i hope you do. i dont like to be malicious. the world would do well with more honest people. i try. its very rare if i lie. its a rule of mine. i dont like to be lied to and understand that's most of the world. so i try hard to be completely honest. not mean, sometimes blunt. mostly just honest with myself. it works to a point. there are always layers of you that you could lie to yourself about. face it, we all wish we were better. so move! work on it. that's right, beth. work on it. i like to think that i am kind. i care for people. i feel horrible and useless if i cant take care of someone. i cant be intentionally hurtful to people. i dont think that i am mean-spirited at all. if i hurt you, know that it wasnt my intention... and then tell me, so i dont do it again.
Who's Your 80s Movie Icon Alter-Ego? Find out @ She's Crafty

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

my brother in law. really. wtf. i'd LOVE to meet you, canadian matthew mcconaughey.
Myspace Layouts

My Blog

everything is coming together...

and it fits so perfectly... i was feeling sort of lost the last few months. we had planned for our lives to be dramatically different... and then they were the same, and i was discontented. its ...
Posted by on Sat, 04 Oct 2008 00:53:00 GMT

last night...

was "the night" all over again. sometimes you need an all-nighter to get on the same page, to rant, to speak in riddles and metaphores and try to explain all the emotions you feel in a single mo...
Posted by on Sun, 29 Jun 2008 05:54:00 GMT

my own time and place...

is now.........i love being here. my life is not super extraordinary but i love it. i feel completely satisfied with everything at this very moment. my husband is working tonight.&nb...
Posted by on Fri, 27 Jun 2008 04:04:00 GMT

emotions were blown up this week...

leaving random scrapings behind to clear away and get to the meat of the situation... the point is love.WE have been nervous the last few weeks. dont get me wrong, things are awesome and sometim...
Posted by on Fri, 27 Jun 2008 03:36:00 GMT

baby crazy...

so everyone is having babies!! really there's katie a, sarah, dangela, both rach's, lucy, that girl at my counter today, the list goes on and on... its baby season apparently! well. ...
Posted by on Fri, 09 May 2008 21:46:00 GMT

as of late...

i had a good productive day. i hung out with little brother, jess. i cooked a healthy dinner for us and we hung out and he was gracious enough to let me unload my every worry and ambition ...
Posted by on Wed, 05 Mar 2008 20:26:00 GMT

so i guess unemployment had its perks...

when we got married, jason and i promised to be each other's family. the union was especially hard in that way. i had to leave my family to become a new family with jason. dont...
Posted by on Mon, 25 Feb 2008 18:06:00 GMT

restore the fallen woman!

i'm not sure why my subject line would say that. its my blog so, whatever. i can write whatever i want. my husband and i were talking about the whole censorship issue with my blogs.&...
Posted by on Sat, 16 Feb 2008 01:09:00 GMT

just another manic monday...

i've been so incredibly sick the last couple weeks. i havent really been able to keep much food down. this weekend went alright... i didnt really do much. just rested and hung out wi...
Posted by on Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:18:00 GMT

i dont pretend to know you...

have you ever wanted life to just "work out?" when i was younger, i was crazy depressed. my brother was talking to me after i had broken down one night crying. he said, "bethy, one day thi...
Posted by on Sun, 25 Nov 2007 21:09:00 GMT