In my four.n.a.1/2 mark, with a belly i can no longer hide, and cravings so intense even my toes taste the flavors, i have a few thoughts on this experience:When you are preggers, people say you have a glow. I want to say, it's not a glow, it's sobriety. When you are preggers, studies show that a mother's exhaustion goes deep to the bone. I want to say, it's the fact that i can't drink my damn coffee. When you are preggers, everyone wants to tell you how beautiful you are, how your body is amazing. I want to say, don't lie, you're just admiring my new DDD's! (as am I!!) What experts in this field don't say, what the myriad of books fail to discuss, and what mother's who sign up for websites to tell them what to expect in the upcoming months so that their psychosomatic selves can obsess about what they think they should feel and how their partners should feel fail to truly examine is that NO ONE, absolutely no one, will be able to tell you what is really going on with YOU. The prototypical western idea that fails to explore the individual. So although I do not qualify as an expert, here is what is going on with me, for the books, for the interested mothers/fathers/brothers/sisters/friends who crave an individual perspective on pregnancy: Everyday I wake up inlove, the kind of love that is your first thought in the morning and your last thought at night. It is not that I am inlove with the idea of baby, nor am I excited about being a mother (in reality, I am quite afraid), but this life in my body somehow shifted my reality where I have learned to love all that I experience from my first yawn, my husband's morning kiss, my breakfast egg, and yes, even my commute to work excites me. In my life, I have been blessed with good fortune, and this growing life in my body is more of that goodness. I have the luxury of enjoying this to the fullest free of worries about money, work, and how to decorate the nursery. With how quickly this experience is going, I have no time to worry, simply enjoy.
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