So I guess this is where I'm supposed to go on, at length, about how impressively scene I am. But here's the deal, I don't fucking care what you think.
I don't give a shit about your generic emo swoop haircut, your favourite obscure band or your tight ass jeans and stupid ass belt buckle. Trucker hats are for fucking rednecks. In case you couldn't figure out what I'm getting at, I don't give a shit about your uber sense of style and fashion.
I'm just a simple guy trying to get through my day with as little bullshit as possible. I smoke and drink because I enjoy it. You can shove your health tips up your ass.
I eat meat. There. I said it. I like it. Kill it, shave it, wipe it's ass and throw it on a plate next to some mashed potatoes and I'll eat it. If you've got steak sauce, that would be great. You want to eat vegetables, fine. Enjoy your broccoli florets. Just remember where that cheese comes from. Make your choices and leave mine to me.
Speaking of which, I think organized religion is humanity's greatest downfall. Kneel and pray all you want, but in the end you're just kneeling prey. It all boils down to capitalism at it's worst. Remember, a good christian is a good consumer.
I'm a bouncer. I don't like Roadhouse and Patrick Swayze is a fag. I love my job. In my line of work the customer is always a drunken asshole about to get his head beat in.
Let's go over some of that again, shall we? I'm a player-hating, smoking, drinking, carnivore who hates Jesus and loves to beat people up. Now that we've established just how much of an asshole I am, or can be, let's get to the endearing part of this tirade.
I live for my family. I'm a single child with way too many brothers and sisters--you know who you are. Those are my true friends. I have a wife and son whom I would bleed, kill or die for. Their safety and happiness are the only things that matter to me. Do Not fuck with the family or I will saw your fucking legs off.
Live and let live. An eye for an eye. Smash capitalism.
That's it. If you don't like it...
Fuck you and you pink shirt!
