Hello..my name is Paulmer. All my life..well not all of it really cause everybody has their days...but nonetheless, a lot of times,....I've been fucked. But you know what. who am I to complain,..we all have. Some people say that life isn't fair. Well..maybe that's true, and maybe it's not. But I can tell you though, that sometimes people suck, and from working at a restaurant that people are disgusting, but people aren't bad. They just are misunderstood sometimes. On the whole everyone usually has some good in them. We do have people though, that are evil, or lack good, I should say. But that's who they are, and we have do deal with that. In each of our own, very personal, ways.
I have been hurt, but then again we all have. It's the one thing we have in common. The pain is the only thing that's real. Cash was right. I have learned a lot recently. That i have people who care about me. People that will never go away. And that's good. I have people who I thought cared about me. But if someone really cares about you, they will do anything, whatever the cost, to make you happy. And if they really had cared about you, they would have never hurt you. But then you have people like Heather. People like Nicole. People like Brandon and Kyle and Darron. People like Preston and Tyler. You have your educators and your family. Your Mom and your Dad. You have people that were enemies, or just weren't very friendly, that show their colors and you realize, these people are your friends. People who want to see you succeed. I love these people. And i can say that openly because i know it's true. We as people should love other people. Not everyone, though, because love is a sacred thing. reserved only for those you truly care about. And to those who I have mention. Know that i love you. However creepy that may feel, I do. And you should know that.
You know....meeting new people is fun. And healthy. And when i realize all my options in a situation. It makes me happy to know that there are people like me, just like me, except for the whole guy thing, out there. And though you thought things could never be the same, things just got better. That's how i feel right now. And right now. Things are excellent.Feelings are fickle friends. One moment your fine and the next your completely distraught. Inspiration for art is what i use my feelings for. And I've been inspired to show my feelings. I hope you understand what I mean by this. It's what I'm feeling. Or what I want to feel. And even when you think you couldn't be happy again. Someone you never expected comes along and makes you happy. Someone who you didn't think could exist. Someone who is just like you. Opposites attract..? Bullshit. I like people who like me for me. Not people i have to pretend in front of.When you meet someone who's just plain amazing...then talk to me about love my friend...You know how they say that there is someone out there for everyone...well it's true. I didn't believe this....and then i met her....and she's all i can think about..and she is amazing.....i never thought i could experience this feeling before...such a pure...and uncensored feeling..and it's awesome...she makes me happy...mucho mucho mucho happy..and i can't thank her enough for what she has givin' me..More words of wisdom my friends. Or experience i should say. There are people out there. People that will try to bring you down, and then there are those that care about you. Well i know that on the one hand those who bring you down will upset you. But consider this...it's the ones that care that really matter. Never let them get to you, emotionally. Because then they have won. Your emotions are kept for those who deserve them. And that's the way it should be. Remeber that you don't have to prove yourself to anyone, and that if they don't understand that then they don't understand you. Stand up for what you believe in. And no matter what, never back down. No matter how many times you tried, or how many times you've failed. Becauseyou can do whatever you want. You just have to believe in yourself. Because others won't. Only those that care will allow you the freedom of belief. And they will encourage it. Follow your heart. Because in the end it doesn't matter what they want for you, but what you want for yourself. and that's happiness. I know a lot about happiness recently my friends. I am Mucho mucho mucho happy. And she knows why :)
And I love her for it.I wrote this for someone special. You know who you are. I love spending time with you. More than any other person I have ever known. You are my friend. And you are my love. You make me happy. I can hardly breathe each time i look at you. You are Gorgeous. I love your smell, because you smell like pretty. And i Love your Spicy-ness as well. :) I If ever in the my life i could feel perfect, it is with you, when i experience the most pure form of desire and affection. When i experience love in it's purest state. Your the only one who can give that to me. And i could never compensate for it.
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