894624

OH GOD PLEASE LOVE ME! Can you please say nice things to me!?!? please, I'm begging you. I am so sad. I want to party but I just can't do anything right, I'm so worthless. God, how do all those other guys act so cool? I can't even tootsie-roll.I am 19 years old, allergic to peanut brittle and if you just give me a chance, just one measly chance, I swear I can be cool, just let me try oh who am I kidding I'm so worthless there's no way you'll want to be my friend, I'd fuck it up somehow....I'm in a good college now but it doesn't even matter cuz I'm such a loser and I can't do anything right.I begged the social committe to let me give cookies out for a study break during finals, they made me buy the cookies and said the only way I could set up a table was if I put on a tutu and and courtsied for strange men. I later found out that they made that up, and I actually was allowed to set up the table without demoralizing myself, but I probably deserved it anyway, considering I'm human excrement. So the cookie sale is tomorrow and I'm SOOOOO nervous. What if no one wants the cookies cuz I'm such a pussy? What if they take them, and then they don't like them? I'll have a nervous breakdown, I really WIll! Holy shit, I didn't even think of that, what if it really happens, if my cookies are rejected, and some really cool person is like "yo, your cookies are worse than dog shit" and I have nothing else to offer them. fuck, dammit, I RUIN EVERYTHING!! ahhh dammit! WAIT! what if I have back-up cookies? YEah! I'll have extras just in case someone who is better than me (a.k.a. everyone) disapproves of my selection. I'll be like "don't worry, here's a back-up cookie, enjoy, and please for the love of god just tell me once that I am worthy of your presence". Shit, who am I kidding, the problem isn't the cookies, it's me. Maybe I should just hide so people can enjoy the cookies without my horrible face ruining their appetite. And hell, no matter how many back-up variaties I provide, I will still be human feces. I'm calling it "The Cookie break (please love me, or just acknowledge my presence please)" but I might as well call it "The Cookie oh who am I kidding I am servile scum horse shit I ruin everything and am an idiot break" Whatever, I'm so used to self-defeat that failing my cookie endeavor will not be a change of pace. Actually, to hell with it, I won't do it, I don't want to ruin anyone's day with my ugliness in their path.I will pay you to let me be your friend, or just let me say I'm your friend. Please it would mean so much to me. My parents agreed to this offer but at a cost I can't afford. I am forced to seek love elsewhere. They would probably like you better, you probably weren't found in a sewer.Did I mention everything is my fault? I know this because Everyone lets me know. To be perfectly honest, I often fuck up things in front of people so that they will be disgusted and yell at me, it's the only human interaction I can hope for.ahh screw it I'm just gunna stop, there's no way you're still reading this, the words of a mindless waste of skin, I'll stop. crap