Take a piece of tinsel and put it on the tree
Cut a slab of melon and pretend that you still love me
Carve out a pumpkin and rely on your destiny
Get in your car and cruise the land of the brave and the free
But dont forget to understand exactly what you put on the tree
Dont believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free
Tke a wrinkled raisin, and do with it what you will
Push it into third if you know youre gonna climb a hill
Eat plenty of lasagna til you know that youve had your fill
Resist all the urges that make you wanna go out and kill
But dont forget to understand exactly what you put on the tree
Dont believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free
Throw that pumpkin at the tree
Unless you think that pumpkin holds your destiny
Cast it off into the sea, bake that pie and eat it with me
-"Roses are Free", Ween
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"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."
--Kingsley Amis
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