Tiffany

What a strange and serendipitous world that we live in today; don’t you agree? We are all so globally interconnected and fractured at the same time. We sit on political wooden fences and wonder why we have splinters in our asses. The social contradictions that whirl around each of us on a daily basis are both wildly amazing and amusing to me. It is like watching a pile up on the grand social super highway and you can not control the natural instinct to rubber neck (I have the kink to prove it). You have caught me and I confess. I am a social deviant who has been scholastically intrigued with “MySpace” for longer than I care to admit. Having a degree in Sociology and being utterly enamored with the discipline, how could I not be? So for awhile I have leered from the lunatic fringe, now I am one of the lunatics.I must proclaim loudly so it be known that I am a dorky, funny, educated goofball and I do not tolerate “stuffed shirts”. Seriousness is so overrated and it is the ultimate killjoy. I demand that you laugh both with me and at me: I am a grown girl I can take being the punch line of a joke. Don’t expect me to recite the lyrical chorus from Rupert Holmes’ one hit wonder “Pina Colada” here; I am too original for that(if you don’t know that song, you need to seriously move along because you are too young). I don’t ever cry over spilt milk; I just pour the “Fruit Loops” on the floor and grab a spoon. Sometimes the two second rule just needs to be ignored. Conformity sucks. All that lies ahead for lemmings is a face plant off a cliff. Being comfortable in your own skin is a turn-on because true exercising of freewill is displayed when one never feels the need to apologize for their authentic self. To be honestly faithful to your inner callings takes a different breed of confidence that supersedes the ascetics; posing is for pansies. Plastic people break. Real people bend.I am vehemently independent and it is one of my highest ranking flaws as it lends itself to misinterpretations about the depth of my attachment. No matter how hard I try (and I have), I can’t exist in a role that requires me to be tethered to the home by gingham patterned apron strings. I am more Bettie Page than Betty Crocker; I would rather use that ladle to spank your ass than cook you dinner. My supreme pet peeve is women who complain about men being such assholes when they themselves are clearly a bitch. You have no right to demand attributes in another person that you yourself do not possess.I harbor an odd craving for “word candy” and find a well-spoken man irresistible even if I don’t agree with what he is saying. This idiosyncrasy in my personality can become overwhelmingly exaggerated at points but I don’t mind being kicked off my soapbox. It is good for the character of the soul to be evicted from one’s lofty perch on occasion. Not to mention that returning to ground level prevents the suffering of long term emotional vertigo that is often imposed by self righteousness. I can get back up again and besides I prefer the climb over the view any day.I am not one of those persons who think that you have to be perpetually happy as that is an unattainable existence. Life can be hard and disappointing but it can also be stupendously spectacular. It is how you choose to blend the lessons learned from both the negative and positive moments that determine the essence of your personality. I mixed well and I totally adore my offbeat self. Maybe you will too.