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im whatever I want to show you... and then a little more of something else; but here is what forms the basis of my beliefs:most people dislike what they see, and blame the mirror ... i'm a night person ... i think our youth-obsessed culture is a symptom of the general decline of civility these days ... i think people feel lonely, trapped and voiceless ... i think the popularity of blogs and myspace shows this; its peoples way of getting heard, feeling they have a voice, that their message is important, that theyre not just a spot of dirt on the map of the world ... i think im guilty of that too ... i think that being obsessed with celebrities allows people to live their fantasies vicariously through the world of edited photos, plastic surgery and tabloid magazines and reality tv... i am not guilty of this ... i used to be indifferent towards celebrity; now the appropriate word is contempt ... appearing young is important, acting younger is chic ... and tiresome ... if i see another car commercial with some thirtysomething in a suit on a vacant road that doesnt exist anymore, with suburban sprawl and everything, driving his family car that speeds, acting like a teenager, i might vomit ... a family sedan with a 'hemi' engine is not necessary ... you got married, and you had kids, you are now an adult ... no car, or facelift, or new set of tits is going to change that ... road rage is another example of the general decline of civility ... frustration, emptiness, the trapped feeling that leaves you to somehow believe that uncontrollable rage is, ironically, your only control against mounting everyday annoyances and foolishness ... on my best day im above all this, feeling that most of the world doesnt deserve to breathe the same air as me, and that is also my worst day ... i dont love my country ... there, i said it ... i dont hate it either; in fact, im very appreciative that i have a place to live where im relatively free and able to do what i would like with my life ... but i pay my taxes, and i go to work ... love is a strong word ... i have this thing where i dont love inatimate objects like flags, countries, and our golden god celebrities ... however, i will fight for my country if im asked to, provided that its not on false pretenses, and if my existence on this planet is threatened ... survival is the basis of everyones existence, including mine ... why im surviving, what im waiting for, whats the redemption of all this? ... i havent figured that out yet ... clue me in if you have ... im also an atheist ... did you know that atheists are the most hated people in this country? ... that doesnt bother me ... at the very least, being an atheist makes me less likely to be a hypocrite ... i take responsiblity for my mistakes and failures ... i also take credit for my successes ... the devil didnt push me towards sin, and god didnt pull me back ... everything ive won and lost i owe to myself ... thats it ... i dont think im an atheist in the rigid sense ... i hate labels anyway ... as far as i know, there could be an afterlife, and i might have a soul ... i just know that if there is an afterlife, it is highly likely that its not how anyone on this planet imagines it ... youll get me to think otherwise when u introduce me to a previously dead person who tells all ... i dont hate or judge anyone who believes in faith and religion ... i do hate fanatics and self-righteous hypocrites ... someone close to me questioned what they thought they knew about their religion while reading the davinci code, and it made me profoundly sad ... im sometimes full of contradictions ... they all somehow make sense to me ... im not a cynic ... im a realist, albeit on the darker side of reality ... but take a look around you today ... is reality all that bright? ... there comes a point when sunny optimism becomes obliviousness ... im a musician ... i hate long island clubs ... i can smell fakeness a mile away ... i dont give anyone i meet for the first time the benefit of the doubt ... ever notice how some people will take their anger and frustration out on the people close to them because its easier that way, while letting people they barely know get away with way too much? ... that is not me ... i have little patience for bull shit ... i will fly off the handle and i wont take shit from people off the street, and i wont let the people close to me deal with bullshit either ... i might get killed one day by another person who doesnt take shit, but has a gun ... im no good at small talk ... i can have fun when i go out, but i dont act like a loud, obnoxious clown ... ive spent a lifetime trying to believe that money isnt everything, but its just not very convincing ... i dislike materialism, but im a victim of my generation ... fight club is my favorite movie ... i think one day i'd like to disappear for a year and live in the woods, just to see if i can ... i hate shallow people ... i dont trust people who laugh or chuckle too much during normal conversation ... i think theyre hiding something ... i dont believe in taboo ... i want to see the world ... im probably an interesting drunk ... i always have an opinion and im prone to ranting ... anything else???..