BALLER

i'm BALLER. [in love].[happy].
My name is Christine Nicole Ball, and as I sit here writing this, I’m thinking of all the wonderful things in the world I could mention. I’m probably not your average kind of girl, but in no way am I going to say I am unique. My friends call me Baller and I’m fine with that.
I live in Picayune/Carriere; a small town on the outskirts of La. I admit it’s not the most thrilling town to live in, but home is where the heart is; and in my heart, Picayune will always be my safe haven.
I have many fears and worries, a lot of them you would probably find ridiculous, but to me they’re completely rational.
I don’t like to think I’m arrogant or irritating, but all the same, I know I am far from perfect. Perfection is nothing to be proud of in my eyes. It means you have nothing to fulfill; no life targets left to hit. And where is the fun in that?
During my life I’ve grasped many metaphorical rungs on the ladder of life, and on many of them I’ve slipped and fallen, but that’s not set me back; made me give up or shattered my hopes and dreams. To give up is cowardice, and if there is one thing I admire, it is to stand up in the face of fear or defeat holding proudly to the last ounce of dignity.
The not so distant past has shown me a lot about myself and I’ve realised the important things in life need holding onto; the true friends; the memories; the laughter; the tears. Nothing should ever be forgotten or left behind.
I think my biggest discovery in life so far is that I find trust a high issue. This came to my attention only (relatively) recently, and has made me see that no body can be trusted. It stands to reason with me, that trust is one the true basis of any type of relationship, and without trust there is nothing. I find it hard to have real lasting friendships because of the lack of trust I have.
Throughout the years of my life I have loved and still love many people, and I like to think that for all of my true friends and family I would stand up and take the slack, the crap they get thrown at them, the bullet that’s shot at them, and give my all back. This is the kind of love I feel for the people around me, and that’s not being said in passing. It’s nice to believe that my friends feel the same way too.
I’ve had/having the experience of true love. Of looking a boy in the eyes and knowing he’s “the one”. Of sharing all my secrets and my life with someone whose standing with me; proud to be mine. It's nice to have a boy to call my own and love.
People have many traits; I know I have, and I’ve begun to realise which ones I can live with, and which I can’t. One of my favourite traits in a person is exaggeration; the trouble it can cause is immense, and I can say this from first hand experience. I can forgive and forget with people who exaggerate, but hypocrites, perfectionists and arrogant individuals really do bug me. Where is the pride and glory in these?
If anything is most important in my life, it is to be myself. To let people decide for themselves if they like me or loath me. To enjoy what I enjoy and be who I am. I won’t change to fit your scene. I won’t pretend to hate something to gain your respect, and if you want me to change for you; my respect in you will be torn apart.
I realise this is a long, probably boring, section for you to read. But if you genuinely care, you’ll have read this and smiled. I tried to write this straight from the heart and it shows very little about my true personality; but then if you’re a true friend, you’ll know me from the heart already.
Thankyou.