ellejaygee profile picture

ellejaygee

It's one thing to want someone out of your life, but it's another thing to serve them a wake-up cup

About Me


The details of my life are inconsequential. Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

(Thanks to Mike for the MySpace CSS Tutorial! Mike Industries .)

My Interests

Candy, puppies, ghosts, Key West, photography, crossword & other puzzles, lipgloss, umbrella drinks, Slurpees

I'd like to meet:

Truman Capote, Stephen King, Will Ferrell, Maurice Sendak, Edward Gorey, Annie Leibovitz, Shel Silverstein, Steve Carrell, Kiefer Sutherland, Robert Plant, Dr. Gregory House, Kevin Smith, Seth Rogen, John, Paul, George, and Ringo, Maxfield Parrish, J.K. Rowling, Jon Stewart, Tina Fey, Lil' Jimmy Norton, O&A, Ron & Fez

Music:

Better Than Ezra, Pete Yorn, Ben Folds, Death Cab for Cutie, Decemberists, Fountains of Wayne, Garbage, Led Zeppelin, Counting Crows, The Beatles, Jack Johnson, Cracker, The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, Kelly Clarkson, ELO, The Cure, The Beach Boys, Old 97s

Movies:

Heathers, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Little Shop of Horrors, The Goonies, The Princess Bride, Anchorman, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Office Space, Napoleon Dynamite, Clerks, Austin Powers, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Airplane!, Blazing Saddles, History of the World Part I, Pete's Dragon, Wedding Crashers, Caddyshack

Television:

Lost, House, 24, Jeopardy, The Office, Scrubs, My Name is Earl, The Soup, Best Week Ever, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Ace of Cakes, Deadliest Catch, Antiques Road Show, The OC (RIP!), American Idol (yeah, so?),

Books:

(last 3 books I've read:)4th of July, Asbury Park: A History of the Promised Land, by Daniel Wolf; I Am Not Myself These Days, by Josh Kilmer-Purcell; Marley and Me, by John Grogan