Mozzy.[love]

I am a Christian and love it.
My Testimony. God told me to re-write this, and not to worry about what to say because he'd give me the words to say. So, here goes nothing... I can't really say my testimony started 10 or even 15 years ago, but it did start about 3 years ago. Yes, 6th grade. I was young, and vulnerable at that. I went to church, but hated every minute of it. How I loved to get out as soon as time would allow, and fake sick constantly. I'd do anything just to not step foot in there. I would say God's name in vein, curse him at that, and I loved to curse. I was sure the church would disclude me, and look down upon me. And for a long time, I continued to think as such. Before I really started going to church regularly my Mom and Dad got a divorce many years prior to this. It took a huge toll on my life. Never having a Father around can definitely put a lot on the oldest one. I remember being pulled around, living in different areas and hearing things a child younger than 10 should never hear. But I carried on without my Dad as much as it killed me to hear the words, "divorce". I lived though.. And soon forgot what it was like to have a Dad around. It killed me. But I loved my Dad. My Dad did a lot of moving around, and his number changed constantly. He smoked a lot when I was little, but he's still trying to quit and for that I am proud of him. When I was little I found out my Dad had done some illegal things. Things that caused him to be sent to jail, house arrest, you know... My Dad then got married to another woman right after my Mom. Heart broken? Upset? Angry? Fear? The works. And the worse part of my Dad doing this was...That I wasn't invited to the wedding. His own daughter. I thought maybe he'd at least have the guts to tell me but I was wrong there too. I held on. But I do my best to see and talk to him when I can. A while of dreading every Sunday morning and evening, a man named Jason Riggle invited me to Youth Group. I told him, "Maybe later" or, "Another time when I'm older." As I got a little older, I still refused to attend. I told my Mom, I was never going to Youth Group. Then one day, something just compelled me to go. I ran to it almost, excited, enthralled. But I still wasn't right with Christ. I didn't care much about Him, just fitting in. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't ever shy, just wanted some real friends. So as I kept attending, the more they tried to get me involved, and the more I went to and enjoyed. But as I went back to school after every Sunday and Wednesday night, I went back to being stepped on. I liked school okay, but didn't enjoy it much; nothing really to look forward to. Then, one day in 7th grade, I met this boy. Man, he caught my eye... I did nothing but look for him before school and after classes. Sure enough, I kept seeing more of him. And how I loved it. I finally got the opportunity to meet this wonderful guy. And one day, December 1st, I asked him out about 7:36ish that morning. He said yes.. Man my heart was a flutter. The third day into us seeing each other, we went to a dance. I got my first kiss that night. I loved every minute of that night. One night, this guy came to see me, and told me his Mom was sending him to live in Florida with his Dad. I couldn't say anything, I couldn't do anything about it. All I knew was that he was going to be gone for 2 months. Well, what seemed like days turned into months. He was gone for a total of 6 months, and already I was dying. I didn't know what to do. No one would send him home. Finally, I asked my Mom to pay for him to get home, and she said fine but she was going to talk to his Dad first. The period of him being down there he'd done a lot of really awful things. He drank, still smoked, and had sex with other girls. I was oblivious to all of this. How? I still asked my self. How did I not see anything, or hear anything? Well, it ended up that he finally got the money and came home. I was in tears, and I was so thankful. It was a long drive for him home; he watched movies with crazy people on the ride home, and made a friend. But what I cared about most is that he was home, and I couldn't ask for more. Finally, one Wednesday night, I got to see him. It was like seeing the sun for the very first time. I hugged him to death. Later on, as we continued dating we got deeper and deeper "in love". He'd asked me to marry him countless times, and we planned out where/what time of the year/what our kids names were going to be/and how old. Nightly, I'd have to stay up with him and keep him up extremely late into the morning to stop him from smoking. All the time, I'd have to do this. I did all I could to help him. This all was soon shattered. He then told me we needed a break, and so we took one. In the period of this "break" he began seeing another girl. That, is not what a break is. He soon told me he fell out of love with me and then in love with another. (If you're "in love" there's no way to fall out as I see it. You only truly love one time..) I'd gave my all to that boy. I just wish I'd gotten it all back. He then began seeing her, and not telling me about it, and I just kept hearing more and more and more about it. One night, I ran up stairs after reading one of their conversations on the computer, and begged for God to take me home. Right then, right there. I pounded my fists on the floor, screamed and cried until I threw up. I prayed for so long, and listened to "Hold On" by Stellar Kart the whole entire time until he called me. I tried to comprehend what it was I did wrong, although I saw nothing, I made myself believe I really did do something. Am I bad girlfriend? Is there something I'm doing wrong? Was it something I said?...Is it just me? One night, I was at church Wednesday night and he called me. I asked him what it was he wanted to do. Still, he had no answer for me. I told him, "You can't have us both, and you know that." "I know, I know.." He kept telling me, but that wasn't what needed to be heard. That was when I let it out. "Well, then I guess you're not going to be with me." And I hung up on him. That was that. I'd literally, never been so happy in all my life. I went to school that next day happier than I'd been in 2 long years. I still have issues with missing him, and longing to just see him. But, I doubt that will ever happen. I have absolutely no regrets with anything at all. I believe God put me through that, to show that people can over come anything. When all this was long over, I moved on. No, it wasn't simple. But, I did. It still hurt to see him. Especially when he unexpectedly came to see me. That, was hard to cope with. But, I too, over came that. No, I'm not perfect, and no, I'm not almighty, I just prayed for the strength. A time later, I really got into my Youth Group. I did what I thought was right, and gave my life to Jesus. I went to something this past summer '07 called NYC. (Nazarene Youth Convention). That, is was soully changed my life. I remember, before I signed up, I did not want to go at all. I simply refused. I didn't want any part of it. But, I paid for it so I went. The night we got up there, we went to our hotel rooms and put everything up and went to see Toby Mac. I've seen him about 4 times. That night, July 10th, I was officially with all my heart saved and dedicated to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He took all of me that night. I remember them saying, "If you feel like you need to give your life to Jesus...Just take a stand in this place." Maybe you can guess, maybe not.. But I was the only one standing in my whole section. From that day on, I lived only for him. Only for him. The week following that night, sealed so many things for me. My future, my friends to come I didn't know yet, and what Jesus wanted me to share with the people around me and that ones I was yet to meet. I met two of my closest friends down there; Taylor J. Forister and Melissa Bower. I thank my God in heaven for the Biffles to this very day. When I came home, I loved every minute of being back and everything I learned and all the friends I made down there. That includes: Damaris<3, Eric<3, Jessi<3, Marcus, Paul, and all my Canadians, my friends from Ohio, everyone of you, I love to death. Later on, I pursued my band. The Silent Treatment. It continued to go in the wrong direction, and we ended up just...dying out basically. I was joking around with our new guitarist one day and told him I should join the band he was in: Forever At Last. I didn't think much about it, but then one night I got a call from Aaron Norris. The man who started it all for me, and to this day I love with all my heart. He asked me to come to practice, meet the guys and sing for them possibly. I was so nervous as most would be. But I went. When I got there, they hadn't even set up yet. But, I watched how everything worked, how they talked and how much love was in the room. I could just feel it. The first person I met out of the band besides Mr. Aaron, was Chris Lantz. I walked in and he was sitting on the computer looking at label sites. Well, they finished setting up, and one by one each member stumbled in the door. There was a lot of people in that small room but we managed. Aaron, Anthony, Chris, Larry, Courtney, Ryan Ames, Ryan, Jordan, Mom, Emily, Timmy and I were in there finally. They played us some music and I was literally stunned. They were so good....Why would they even consider me trying out period? I felt so little compared to them. Let alone, they were a tad older. But not heart wise. I was plenty old there. And I didn't care who knew. As practice went on, I sang them a song by Mae. They really liked it. Then they had me scream, and I didn't know I could until that night. It was awesome. When practice was over, Chris wanted to know if I could sing with them. That definitely boosted my confidence. Well, turns out, it wasn't meant to be. I just stopped talking to them. I saw no point. But, that attitude changed. Chris called me and asked me to sing a song one night with them. I jumped on that chance! And it went so well. He later asked to start a side project known as I Dare You. (Which still needs a load of work). As me and the guys grew closer together as friends, but more than anything family..The better I got to know them. Later, me and Chris became best friends. (Don't get me wrong, we're all family/best friends but if you know me, you know what I mean.) He was just like me. And all different at the same time. He understood me perfectly, and we agreed on nearly everything. But we always told both sides of everything. We came to each other with everything, and kept nothing hidden. It's just how we are with one another. To this day, I thank God every time we hang out, talk, listen, pray, play tag, or play music together. He is my best friend. I couldn't have a better one. I love him to pieces. I love nothing more than to play music with them. One day, my day will come. Along the period of knowing them, I became better friends with Forgotten Tragedy. That band consists of Aj, Jared, Justin. Man, we all hit it off soon. You won't see us not together when there's a chance. I thank God for them all the time too. I have a lot to thank them for. Inspiration, brothers, someone to pray with and accountability. One night, Jared pulled me in the back and we pray together forever. I thank you for that. Aj, he keeps me in line like a child of his own, and I love him for that. I love all of you, thank you for everything; Craig, Tiptonite, and Justin. As Forever At Last grew, they obtained a new member Shaun Asher. He's my big brother, and one of my best friends and God knows I'm thankful for him and all the times he's built courage and what to do in my life. I now know, that if I hadn't accepted Christ I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't have a heart as big as I do now. I wouldn't hold on, I would love, I wouldn't care, I wouldn't be anything without Jesus Christ. Nothing people. I'm a living testimony to that, if you think having Jesus in your life is crap; you come talk to me. I will flip every view of Him you have completely around. Trust me. I now know, giving my life to Christ was the right thing to do. I didn't think, I knew. I don't care if you're Catholic, Buddhist, Jewish, whatever. If you love Jesus, and he comes first that is what matters most.
1 Corinthians 13:4.
I am that living testimony.
The ocean is growing.
So my name's Brittany. I'm in this ministry. I scream/sing. And I'll do nothing less.
I'm a mess.