Bounty hunting, racing, combat, Nintendo, video games, F-Zero, Super Smash Bros., Metroid, Super Mario Bros., Kirby, Legend of Zelda, Pokemon, Game 'n Watch, Fire Emblem, sexually harassing Marth.
I'd like to meet:
These freaks of nature (aka the new Smash Bros. recruits).
Meta Knight. I don't know you, little round man with funky-looking sword, but I look forward to kicking your ass in Brawl.
Wario. Do we really need another Mario character in Brawl? Really? I am not looking forward to those A-bomb sized bouts of flatulence. Fool's got some kickass shoes though. I think he stole them from Zoda.
Zero-Suit Samus. SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS!!! Did I say she wasn't
that hot in the trailer? I take that back. She's almost as hot as ME! And that's damn hot. Even though she looks like she's giving the Nazi salute right there.
Pit. Hey, Marth, look, it's your replacement. That's right. You are no longer the prettiest girl in all of Smashland. Pit is the new man-slut we will whore out to all the fangirls to make them buy our game. Hahaha! Soon, they'll forget all about you, princess-tiara-head. Maybe you'll be nicer to me then, eh, Marth-chan?
Solid Snake. Everyone's got a boner for this guy. Me? I think he kind of looks like Chuck Norris on steroids. And people are acting like he's manlier than me or something. Well bring it on, Chuck! We'll see who's top dog.
Pictures from Smash Bros. Dojo!! (Don't tell Masahiro Sakurai I stole them, okay?)
Other cool bounty hunters.
Faye Valentine. I shouldn't have to explain this one. "SHOW ME YOUR--"
Sol Badguy. Decent bounty hunter, I've heard. Can't say much for his previous career in science.*
* Though I've got to say that it takes a special type of genius to be like, "Hey, I'll just inject myself with this experimental substance that I just invented so I can be my own lab rat!" Nice one, Einstein. Not that randomly injecting a glob of animal and plant DNA into your bloodstream is likely to do anything much. The target genes would have to be spliced into a virus first, or they wouldn't have any way of getting into the host cells, much less getting translated with the rest of the cell's DNA during protein formation. Of course, even if they did get translated, incorporating so many genes from another genome into your DNA is more likely to give you cancer than superhuman powers. Which basically means that the Guilty Gear storyline makes no sense. However, the F-Zero storyline--that makes perfect sense. Space travel that ignores the laws of relativity, the existence of the Underworld, the fate of the universe resting on the outcome of a hovercraft race, criminal justice dispensed at the hands of spandex-clad superheroes... Hey, makes sense to me.
Bridget. What is it about girly boys in blue? He kind of looks like this chick I was hitting on once (at least I think it was a chick), which eventually led to me getting whacked in the nuts with a yo-yo and then almost arrested for something statutory. My PR Dept now requires me to card anyone I might be hitting on.
My next bounty.
Deathborn. I totally kicked his ass last time. The guy's the most evil of all evil supervillains. With an even more evil sense of fashion. I mean, I thought Ganondorf's cape was pretty damn fugly. Then I saw Deathborn. Someone teach that ugly bastard some color coordination please. He's pictured here getting ready to lay the smackdown on Rick Wheeler. Should I intervene? Eh, I'm missing my soaps...
Disclaimer: All pictures are copyrighted by their respective owners.
Music:
F-Zero GX downloadable soundtrack My theme music is by far the best. "Forever he will be my hero..."
Television:
F-Zero: GP Legend Check it out! Way cooler than TMNT!
Also at Absolute Anime
"that cartoon is made of gay, and fail"
-- Anthony
Books:
Books are for pansies. Real men don't read books. However, someone once wrote a story about me, which you can find here: Ay Yai Yai: Captain Falcon's Your Little Butterfly! Obviously a fan writing about my awesomeness. Read it!
Heroes:
Samus Aran
She stole my pose, but whatever. It's all good.
Picture copyrighted by Nintendo, taken from mmxz.zophar.net/rpg/metroid3/smmain.html.
Spike Spiegel
Picture from starbulletin.com/2003/04/04/features/story5.html
Reno Raines
Picture from cinedestin.privatedns.com
Shigeru Miyamoto
Picture from Miyamoto Shrine .
All pictures are copyrighted by their respective owners.
