I have a very rational fear of time. If other things don’t kill you, time definitely will. It will spoil everything, from food to love. I’ve taken to a certain cyclic lifestyle in an attempt to experience the lateral spaces of time instead of the central. Simple, solitary things. I believe that bathtubs are severely underused, while overhead lighting is severely overused. A small manipulation of one’s surroundings can turn an act of patience from a nightmare into a wonderful thing.
I finally know what excites me artistically, and it came from a realization that art is not a responsibility. It’s best created or observed on the basis of an inner compulsion which is entirely self-motivated. Odds are, you must give up on something which has been exhausted to make room for something new. This is not something to feel guilty about. I’ve never denied an interest in high art; in theory, it’s human nature to me. However, I also believe that the superlative of such is inclusive of many things in life which are not inherently artistic or even inspiring.
If I ever enjoy a film or book or record, I will always enjoy it. I've heard people say they're "over" this or that. It baffles me why people treat something as a passing fascination when it's entirely unnecessary. To engender a work of art with the transience of bad relationships or temperaments must be a miserable way to live. Unlike people, these things don't change; I don't like everything 24/7, but if I can appreciate something once, I trust that I will in the future.
I have no choice but to remain a sincere outsider. I am relatively intolerant of normal, young, white people. I have a strong disdain for the paradigm of people who think they’re very smart and very liberal who institutionalize themselves through collegiate sociality. Education in itself is not a problem, but settling for a success guaged by sociality is a horrifying thing to me. But I’m no misanthrope. No, I love people: Old people, foreign people, weird people. I enjoy people on an individual basis. I love cities, but not because of their masses; their personalities are comprised entirely inhuman qualities.
I will most likely disappear some day. Should you need me for anything, check rural Indonesia or Uruguay first.
