For who could ever learn to love a hideous beast?- Pretty sure the beast was way hotter than the fugly prince at the end.
Yeah...I'm not...I'm not cool, am I?
Scott Eadie, what was your favourite scene in the Twilight film?
"The scene where she walks into the school room and subtly there is fan behind her and it blows her scent and he is meant to be overcome with passion. But he looks like he ate shit."
Rofl-cakez
New years resolutions for 2009
1) Punch anyone who offers me a Cruiser. Continue to avoid vodka AT ALL COSTS!
2) Get into shape (fuck that....round counts as a shape)
3) Avoid the male species. But don't become a lesbian.....just go back to being an asexual amoeba. That was way much more fun. Maybe join the local nunnery (hmm... may need to start believing in a religion first) Done and done
4) Be fatalistic and rely on karma to fight my battles (which it does. Trust me, it does).
5) Stop fucking swearing all the fucking time like a fucking slutcuntbitchwhore.
6) Earn some money and SAVE IT!!! (Apparently, spending wages on food, booze and concert tickets doesn't make for decent cash flow) Doing well, Jess. Doing well...keep it up
7) Go back to England and visit Ireland to get me a hawt irish bloke. Totally. Going. To. Happen. Tickets = booked.
8) SIIIINNNG SING SING SING. ACCCTTT ACT ACT ACT. Acted in first movie- check.
9) Get a fake I.D.....NOW! Fuck it. Will be 18 oh so soon
10) Be more laid back and don't let opportunities pass me by. Surprise myself and surprise everyone else, take risks, do crazy shit (like boil up some blue Cruisers and snort the residue! fucking YEAH!), get kicked out of more pubs, stalk local bands (which I do a lot of already, but I feel I could intensify my obession with all the free time I'll have on my hands this year mwahahaha) and most importantly, have an absolute blast. Living the dream, kids. Living the dream
11) Don't stick to new years resolutions.
Jess, Jessy, Molefoot, Jessicles- anything you like. Only Jessica when I'm in trouble...or when you want to confess undying love for me. Which happens all the time...the being in trouble thing, not the undying love thing.
People say that best and most exciting myspace profiles are the ones that have lots of pretty colours and very little writing. The About Me is always short and sweet, filled with intelligent, sharp, witty lines that suddenly make the reader fully understand the existence of human life on earth.
Those people spend too much time on myspace.
Me, I like to ramble. And that’s exactly what I intend to do here. You only get one 'About Me' in your life. You may as well spill your heart out in it and ruin any chance you ever had of getting laid by slaving over it night and day, constantly updating it in the hopes that someone, somewhere, goes on your profile enough times in a week to notice your incredible new html coding skillz.
So incase you didn't realise, I am Jess and I am a nerd. Lets get that out of the way so you don't get an nasty shocks when you start talking to me about the weather and I somehow turn it into a discussion about comic books, My Chemical Romance or the Twilight novels (which really have doomed me to a life of eternal spinsterhood). But seriously, I'm not that boring. Sometimes I say some genuinely intelligent things. Usually though, I say them to myself ten minutes after we've finished talking, and no one is around to hear it.
I'm your average teenage girl, though. 17 going on 25 and all that shit. Although, I say that, but when I get into a room with a bunch of 25 year olds who have all graduated from uni and now have company cars and picket fences (just the picket fence though, not the actual property to build it around….christ knows, none of them can afford an actual house), I find it very hard to make conversation. Can you blame me? I still like to dance around my room to my favourite Paramore tracks (mostly pretending...trying...wishing I was Hayley Williams), so I'm hardly the fountain of knowledge on all matters adult. I laugh a little too much, sing a little too loudly, dream a little too passionately, to really be a fully fledged adult, who has been ground down by the big bad world. I'm kind of convinced that in ten years time I will have made a real name for myself as an actress and/or singer and/or writer. We all know that in ten years time I'll be working in a cardboard box factory (because, hey, whoever told me that getting a general BA in english from UWA would get me a prosperous career in the industry of my choice, was quite honestly, a filthy filthy liar) wearing too much make-up and driving a shitty ute to and from work every day. But such mental images I will continue to suppress until they manage to creep up on me, become reality and crush my gentle spirit.
For all you kiddies out there who are the same age as me and thinking, “hmm, this chick is incredibly awesome and I would love to start stalking her. I must find out which uni she goes to…†(I’m sure you’re all thinking that because hey, *breathes on nails and polishes them on jacket* I am pretty great) now would be a good time to tell you that I’m not at uni this year. Now for all of you who are thinking “what a disgusting low life. She really will end up working at a box factoryâ€, you are clearly stuck up, pretentious, prats who probably study at UWA (we were all thinking it…I just had the guts to say it). I have every intention of going to uni one day but figured going this year would only be an epic waste of my life seeing as, outside of acting, singing or writing, I have zero leads on what ‘real job’ I want to get when I grow up. So uni is pretty useless to me at this stage. I'll go eventually....duuh, I'm a nerdfreak. Uni is where I belong.
I’m currently single. Putting it right out there but hoping no cyber-space stalker freaks will suddenly start messaging me saying “hey baaaaaaabe, lets meet up baaaaaaabeâ€. I have this theory about couples and relationships in general, which I would like to share with you because, hey why not? I’m sure you’re all positively gagging to hear about it *rolls eyes*. It seems to me *lifts pipe to mouth thoughtfully and takes a few puffs*, that when it comes to relationships, matching people attract. Ugly people date ugly people (Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger?....shit I really am a nerd). Hot people date hot people (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt?). Indie kids date indie kids (Cassie and Carey?). Sexy rockstars date sexy rockstars (Gerard Way and Lyn-Z Ballato?). Weirdos date weridos (Bert McCracken and….)…Well…you get my drift. So, if you look at it logically, what does that leave us Jess’ of the world (of which there can’t be very many as few people would aspire to be a Jess) with? Assholes? But even assholes usually end up dating other assholes. So you can see my dilemma.
When I’m still single at 35 an the biological clock starts ticking a little too loudly, I’ll put an ad in the newspaper:
WANTED: Human male, with an appreciation of music (it doesn’t have to be ‘good’ music because lord knows, mine isn’t), a sense of humour (again, doesn’t have to be quality…just existent), and a sense of personal hygiene (oh please make it good) to be boyfriend of a Jess. Blind men welcome…or even preferred.
But no, heres the thing. I'm so happy right now. My life is amazing. I've done some of the most awesome shit this year already, seen some brilliant places, met some beautiful people, learnt some harsh lessons, been scared half to death, faced my fears and grown up so much. I'm single yes, but single does not equal miserable. I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy and, in fact, no one does. I can't wait to meet someone special, but in the meantime, I'm just going with the flow, seeing what happens, and no, I'm not desperate enough to just take what I can get. Well...not yet anyway. I'm living my life alone, with no one holding me back or tying me down and I'm loving it. Lets hope it stays that way.
Keep your fingers crossed for me.
