Kevin profile picture

Kevin

So does Jesus really exist or is he just your father dressed up?

About Me

Yo, this is to all you creepazoids out there -- the ones with the tangled up dreadlocks and termite problems. I know you keep reading my profile and getting all sweaty over it. That’s cool. But please stop breathin so heavy while you do it. I’ve got kids now. And a respectable wife. And six or seven hamsters I breed and sell to the local pet store. You messin up their breeding cycles. And you messin up my dividends. Stop smoking everything in the kitchen just to see what works. You’re over, turd. Go flush yourself.

Ok, let’s get real.

I am a forward for the Huston Rockettes.

Ok, let’s get real.

Please go back to your phone booths and your handicams. Stop pressing rewind on the freaking VCR. The movie is over, Grandma. Go home and take a bath or something. And there’s no need to correct my grammar. These are imperative sentences, Bitch!

My Interests

When I’m choking, I find that eating more food actually helps.

I'd like to meet:

Nancy Reagan

Music:

?

Movies:

one at a time, that's how I watch mine

Television:

i do enjoy a good television set, preferably with a remote control

Heroes:

I don't understand the question. Could you rephrase that, Alex?

My Blog

Dr. Youthlove or: how i learned to stop protesting and love the war

I wrote this for a Vanity Fair writing contest that took place in September '05.  The contest asked: "Why doesn't America's youth protest the Iraq War like baby-boomers protested the Vietnam War....
Posted by Kevin on Thu, 20 Oct 2005 09:22:00 PST