.CaptainKill. profile picture

.CaptainKill.

hubbardm

About Me

my name's morgan.
i've had a million chances to never do anything.
and i'm still here.
trying to do something.
i've lived my whole life...trying to be someone other people love. someone other people fall in love with.
no one cares.
no one sees the effort you make in your heart. no one sees how much you love them, or how hard you fall trying to make them see, that you would do anything for them.
i live for the few things that make everything else worth it.
sometimes
it's a life worth living.
despite everything else, i remember a few good things that make it all worth it. despite every bad memory, i still look forward to every good one. i will always take chances in my life, hoping to make one more good memory before i die, because i don't know when that'll be.
a million chances to be in love.
and one chance to be in love forever.
it's that one chance i would fight for until i had nothing left to give. maybe i have nothing left, but i'll pretend i have the world left, and i'll give it to you.
just ask.
maybe my life's not worth much, and maybe things would go on pretty much the same if i wasn't here, but i am here, and if just one person misses me when i'm not around, if one person thinks of me as they fall asleep at night, if one person remembers something i said, or something i did, that meant something to them, i guess that's worth it to me.
live everyone's life.
and take a minute to see that you really don't know.
you never knew that it wasn't all about you.
it never was.
the world revolves around me. it's morning when i wake up, and night when i go to bed. i live to improve this universe that revolves around my every action...my every thought. when i die this world will end. that's the truth, because this world only exists in my eyes, and my mind. if i wasn't here, none of this would matter to me, and i wouldn't matter to anyone.
is that true?
i guess it is.
there's a few people in my world who give me a thousand reasons each day to wake up tomorrow. there's a few people who love me. there's a few people who give me everything i need, because that's all i care about. you're all i care about.
i live for you.
i would die for you.
i swear.
ask me enough, and i'll tell you what you wanna know.
mittens are for sissies.
but i sure love em.

My Interests

"I see, everywhere, the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived. I see all this potential...damn it, an entire generation pumping gas and waiting tables; they're slaves with white collars. Advertisements have them chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We are the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no great war, or great depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We've all been raised by television to believe that one day we'll all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars...but we won't. And we're learning slowly that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

- Chuck Palahniuk

Music:

Alexisonfire, Alkaline Trio, The Almost, As Cities Burn, As I Lay Dying, August Burns Red, Billy Talent, The Bled, Blink 182, Boxcar Racer, Brand New, The Chariot, Chiodos, Cinematic Sunrise, Circa Survive, Clifton, Copeland, Cursive, Day Two, Death Cab For Cutie, Death From Above 1979, Deftones, The Devil Wears Prada, Dragonforce, Dropkick Murphy's, Flogging Molly, From First To Last, Funeral For A Friend, Further Seems Forever, Greeley Estates, Gwen Stacy, Hot Water Music, I Am The Ocean, The Kills, Letter Kills, Lorene Drive, Massive Attack, Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, Mogwai, Norma Jean, The Postal Service, Rage Against The Machine, RATATAT, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Rise Against, Rocket From The Crypt, Saosin, Saves The Day, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Senses Fail, Set Your Goals, Sky Eats Airplane, Something Corporate, The Sounds of Animals Fighting, Straylight Run, The Streets, Taking Back Sunday, Tegan and Sara, This Moment, Thrice, Thursday, Underoath, The Used, The Blues, Classical, Big Band, 80s, Folk, traditional Irish melodies of the mother land...ya know...the good stuff.

Movies:

"What is Cinema? We might as well ask "What is life?", for film, like life, is made of moments; moments in time, held aloft for our perusal, imprinted on our soul, and then brought back to us from time to time as a memory -- by an event, a vision, a sound, an emotion. The separation becomes trivial -- cinema is life, and life cinema: around us, beside us, inside us. The cinema, then, is not to be consumed with haste; films are not to be digested simply as they unfold, like some plastic-wraped fast-food. Created by light and celluloid, they live only in our minds and in our hearts, savoured both during and after the fact. Projected onto the screen and into our consciousness, where they are replayed over and over -- continually re-discovered artefacts which are constantly changing us. What, then, can we say is truly real? A memory? An event? A celluloid image? The answer lies in the cinema. All is real. Nothing is impossible."

- Glen Norton

Television:

I'm not much for TV. I prefer to buy the DVD sets so i can watch them in sequential order.

Books:

The chief knowledge that a man gets from reading books is the knowledge that very few of them are worth reading.

- Henry Louis Mencken

Heroes:

gerald ford.

former president gerald ford.

My Blog

My Mistake

tears like insults run down cheeks flush.the emptiest kind of broken leaves metrying to remember why i loved you.this time i fell for it when i fell for you,and i'm left spinning. my head is spinning,...
Posted by .CaptainKill. on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 02:24:00 PST

Gray

I remember when i was young and naive thinking that I was gonna save the world, do good, with my ideals and big heart. I was gonna feed the children in africa, and bring peace in the middle east. Sp...
Posted by .CaptainKill. on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 08:15:00 PST

Goodbye Kiss

a thousand chances for someand one mistake for othersyou do your best to runas fast as you know howbut end up in the same placethe place we all gowhen we make our last mistakeand maybe it's mistakes l...
Posted by .CaptainKill. on Wed, 26 Sep 2007 07:27:00 PST

An Eternal Round Made of Dreams

and from a thousand miles away i hear your voiceyour voice in my headbreath on my neckcan you seedo you see mein your dreamsa dream you wish you would never wake up fromterrified to lose that dreamoh ...
Posted by .CaptainKill. on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 08:45:00 PST

Laryngitis

everything's a tragedy when you expect too muchand you'll never be happybecause you never knew what that meantit all sounds so perfect in your headand everyone seems decent from where you're standinge...
Posted by .CaptainKill. on Sat, 15 Sep 2007 04:31:00 PST

A Dwindling Rarity

you say to me some things never changeand maybe you will never changeis this another argumentabout what little time we spentgiving up and giving inbecause we thought we'd never winour love was never r...
Posted by .CaptainKill. on Sat, 15 Sep 2007 04:24:00 PST

And Then I Took Off Into The Sky

You said to meWell I guess everything's trueExcept when it's notOnce you said to meIt's funny how you think you're in loveUntil you're notIt's funny how everything you sayIs such a gameAnd you burn my...
Posted by .CaptainKill. on Sun, 26 Aug 2007 09:45:00 PST

Discrepant Mind

just some good memoryamong some broken onessome broken hopes and dreamsforgotten and childish thingsput awayhopes and dreams of hopeless dreamsof hopeless thingsall clear and clearly misunderstoodall ...
Posted by .CaptainKill. on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 10:56:00 PST

Another Marathon of Some Show Nobody Watches

my words are exhausted on a pain so exhaustingand i have no breathmy words are emptya cynicism that bleeds meit bleeds my heart drya broken organmeant to play hymnswith broken melodiesand i can't find...
Posted by .CaptainKill. on Wed, 15 Aug 2007 02:18:00 PST

This Is Me Outloud

where are we nowtossed around in this worldso long kept spinningfor usussounds so different nowdistantly fleeting from meand so lost to mei'm left counting the timescounting on broken fingersthe times...
Posted by .CaptainKill. on Wed, 20 Jun 2007 01:27:00 PST