I'd like to meet:
12:26 AM, the 12th of August, another restless Saturday night in the wonderful year of 2007. That's the time I realized that writing this blurb about myself was going to be a lot harder than I had naively hoped!
It's funny, it took me no time at all to throw together a completely custom and personalized layout, but when it comes to penning the actual profile I freeze up! Okay, so it wasn't really that funny. SHUT YOUR FACE! Sorry. I've been told I'm frustrating to talk to. Then again, I've also been told Ashlee Simpson can sing! Ahh, there's nothing like ending the introduction to your introduction with a nice Ashlee Simpson dig! Oh, but before we end it, I should probably tell you my name! BEHOLD... the wise, all knowing, super dooper tasty, waaaaay too happy for his own good JORDAN FACE!
Looking around at how other people have decided to introduce themselves on Myspace, I feel I should really make something clear. This is not going to be about how misunderstood I am, or include outbursts of "fuck you's" that say that no matter how hard you try, you can never be like me, understand me, or even be my friend. I mean, are we even on the same site? It's Myspace – a place for friends and sexual predators! We're here to meet new people, open ourselves up to new friendships, stalk 13 year olds and possibly steal someone's identity – not to scrunch up in a tight little shell and hide our tortured souls from the world! If it's okay with you guys, I'm gonna leave the negativity and cussing for when I catch Charmed showing it's brain dead face on our precious TV stations!Wow. From timestamps and frozen corpses, to Ashlee Simpson and angsty teens, to sex with 40 year old bald men and Charmed polluting our brains with gobwash, to carefully placed spam! Now that's random for you. Can't argue with what seems to work! Bubbly random details it is!
I have green shoes. They're pretty. Like me! Nah, actually they're worn out to death. Yes, I have dead green shoes! Sometimes I dream about them warping into zombies and trying to suck the brains out of my feet. Oh, in these dreams my brain is in my left foot! Too random? Probably.
I'm a goof who tries to be positive about everything in life. Well, except HIV. I'll stay negative for that, thanks! (Told you I was an idiot a goof!) When I'm out, there's always time and money for ice cream. Don't argue. You won't win. I eat raw lemons and freeze bananas. I like cold. Even if it was snowing, you'd still probably see me in shorts with one of many short sleeve shirts. Come to think of it, I probably have more clothes than all the girls I know. :/ Forget about Tara Reid's face, that's a scary thought!
I'll make you smile when you want me to – and even more when you don't! I love the Royal Melbourne Show – everyone's always so happy there. Though I guess that's probably because they want to gobble up your money in exchange for ridiculously overpriced and under stocked show bags. But still, gotta love them carnies. When I am sad though, I listen to pop music. Not to cheer myself up, but to remind myself of the happiness and joy I'll never be able to have. Now that's some serious emotional torture! Take that, emo kids!
I know I sound completely retarded for saying it, but I honestly believe in TV! TV is life. TV is education. TV is who we are. You're probably thinking, "jeez, guzzle down some more ice cream, fat ass." But I don't see it that way. I mean, I do have more than my fair share of ice cream, but TV is like an older sister to me. When I'm feeling sad, South Park and Drawn Together are always there to cheer me up! When I'm feeling lonely, I know I can count on Gilmore Girls and Futurama to give me a nice warm hug. When I've got something on my mind, I always know what to do thanks to Buffy and One Tree Hill. Whenever I need to get away and hide, thanks to Alias I always know exactly what color wig to wear. And if I ever get stranded on a remote island, Lost has taught me to stay away from the black smoke monsters. With its infinite lessons and stories, TV helps me become a better person – and it can help you too!
I've got my beliefs and try my best to stand by them. I don't smoke or do drugs, and I'm able to have fun without popping brain cells. Totally against self mutilation and all that junk -- I love myself (arguably a little too much). Currently single. I'm the relationship kinda guy - not into all the one night stand / hooking up / "walking around with an empty soul" kinda stuff. YEA BREH. I spell a lot of words the American way, like favorite and color. Proud computer geek. I'm often pretty quiet and shy in big groups, but I won't shut up about how sexy I am with my friends. I need a little time to open my petals up. Yeah, in this statement I'm a flower.
My favorite animal is teh panda! I always need a haircut. I love music and obsess over lyrics like they're an emo waiting to be pounced on. (Call for violence or sexual reference? YOU DECIDE, AMERICA!) My music taste can be a bit daring odd at times... For example, it mixes pop princess Avril Lavigne with 20 year old progressive rock band Dream Theater. That's right, kids... I've got AVRIL PRIDE , and damn proud of it!
Currently my social life exists mainly in the form of Stargate marathons, so I would love to meet new people. If you took the time to read this (and kudos to you!) then I'd most definitely love to chat/flirt/have kids, so don't be scared to add me and lay down your best pick up line!
2:53 AM. "Funeral For A Friend – The Sweetest Wave" is playing and it's a nice calm end to this tiring profile adventure. Feeling pretty good about what I've managed to spit out for this little bio! Thanks and a pair of my unwashed boxers goes to my pimp daddy mor for kindly reminding me of all the retarded things I love to do. You're my rock. In a non sexual way though. You know how frisky those rocks can get. Hope you enjoyed reading this! JORDAN FACE AWAYYYY!
Heroes:
24, Alias , Angel , Buffy , Chuck, Dead Like Me, Drawn Together, Firefly, Friends, Futurama , Gilmore Girls, GREEK, Grey's Anatomy , Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, LAX, Lost , Mind of Mencia, One Tree Hill , The Office , Private Practice, Scrubs, Skins, South Park , Stargate: SG-1 , Studio 60, Veronica Mars, Will & Grace13 Going On 30 , The Air I Breathe, Crash ,
Cry Wolf, Darkness, Down To Earth, The Frighteners, Jawbreaker, Little Miss Sunshine , Nightwatch, Resident Evil(s), Serenity , SLC Punk!, Underworld, Van Helsing, The VillageAvril Lavigne, Blue Man Group, Bowling For Soup, Busted, Coheed & Cambria, Dream Theater, Dukes Of Windsor , Electric Six, Evanescence , Eve 6, Family Force 5 , Feeder , Foals, Hawthorne Heights , Hellogoodbye, Garbage, Jimmy Eat World , Keane , Korn, Lydia, M83 , Mindless Self Indulgence , The Music , My Chemical Romance, New Found Glory, Pendulum , Say Anything , Senses Fail , The Used, ThriceC is for COOKIE. Oh, and sometimes it's for COMMENTS too. Not this time though.