[angelservant]

Here she is, the girl that I gave every piece of myself to. I love her, and I know she knows, though you are not physically here with me, I will always have you in my heart. I love you, Gena, forever, no matter how painful it feels to be away from you each day each night, memories of us will always be vivid in my heart, Ill always be thinking about you, if its the last thing Im allowed to do.

Someone asked me what is love. Is it good, is it bad, is it awesome, is it terrible. I honestly didnt know how to answer them. I finally decided love is the most complicated of all emotions. Love is kind, is harsh, is wonderful, is terrible, is a cure, is a sickness, is LOVE, is hate, is meaningful, is pointless. Love shows the best in people, shows the worse in people. Love makes us speak truth, makes us lie. Love understands everything, love confuses everyone, love builds your life, love tears your heart down, love makes you smile, love makes you cry, love makes us cuddle, love makes the world go crashing down, love makes things simple, love makes things impossible, love is always worth it. Love makes us smarter, love makes us stupid, love is enlightening, love is BLIND, love encourages, love scares, love is peaceful, love creates fights, love is soothing, love is tough....and above all. Love is always worth it because you become a better person everytime you love someone from the simplest careing for a friend to the deepest desire to love someone til the world ends. From the unconditional love of a child to the complicated love of the gods. There is...no meaning to love, love means...everything. No matter how much it hurts you, or makes you cry or crush your spirt, and splits your soul. Love is always worth it...because what doenst kill you makes you stronger. And however long it takes, you will be a better person because you lived, through love. Dont be afraid to make mistakes and try again. And...above all, loved someone no matter what people think. Love if you would die for that person...but you would also live for them. That...is the true meaning of love...

I know why they call it"Breaking up", because it feels like you are. It feels like all you've ever known is a lie, like all you ever cared for is gone, like it was all a big game, like it wasn't real. How you felt, all the emotions wasted. You have so many questions why? It's always the first thought, was it something I did? Said? Is it my fault? Did you find someone else? But no matter what you ask, there are no answers that lend consolation. Nothing can. It's a cut that runs too deep. After the wound heals there will always be scars, because that person was a part of you. And now they're gone. They've left too soon. You still need them. You still love them. And now you miss them. You miss their warm body beside you. You miss their comforting embrace. You miss their familiar smell. You miss how their hand always found yours. You miss their lips crushed against yours. You miss hearing their voice requiting your love. You feel so torn inside; ripped apart. Your heart is beating to a sprinting drummer. All you feel is that cruel emptiness. That chill when you know you're alone. You feel utterly and completely incomplete. You don't want to live, not without them. Yet you know you have to try. Though your friends try to make you smile, try to make you laugh, and when you need to, they let you cry and always be there for you whenever you need them. There's still that emptiness, no matter how many times they tell you, "You'll find someone better", "It was stupid for them to let you go", "They're not worth your tears." You don't believe them, because you want her back. This pain is too much and you can't alleviate it. All you have now are memories and the memories won't suffice. They're not good enough for you, you want the real thing, because that was life, your existence. And you want it back.

MY Details

Status: Single, but taken.
Here for: Friends, Networking. I dont know.
Orientation: Straight
Hometown: OC, CA
Body Type: "small" 5' 8"
Ethnicity: Asian
Religion: I dont know, but lately I felt like god turned his back on me.
Sign: LIbra
Smoke / Drink: No I dont smoke but I just might, and yes Ill drink on occasions and that sort.
Children: Someday when im ready to be a daddy, I really want children, maybe adopt even.
Education: Some College
Occupation: I wish I can say
Income: hahaha