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carlomoss.

why don’t you meet me a the top of a flight of stairs?

About Me

Did you see me at Rocks? Maybe UCSB? Was it Bricks, perhaps? Catch me at IV Comedy Nights? Or was it at the Underground for Africa? Well, now I'm in LA. Permanently. Get ready bitches.
Myspace Video is broken. Check out this new video while they fix it.
CARLO MOSS LIVE: DEATH/HASSELHOFF
***ARCHIVED BLOGS***
THE 2006 YEAR END EXTRAVAGANZA!!!
" target="_blank"The Ten Most ToolTastic Moments of 2006
" target="_blank"2006: The Year in Pictures
THE LIST
" target="_blank"Inductee 1: Axl Rose
" target="_blank"Inductee 2: Ryan Seacrest
" target="_blank"Inductee 3: Guy Who Takes His Shirt Off in the Middle of the Gym
WHO'S THE BIGGER TOOL?
" target="_blank"Round 1: Nick Lachey vs. Ashley Parker Angel
Round 2: Ashley Parker Angel vs. Wilmer Valderrama
Round 3: Ashley Parker Angel vs. Brandon Davis
Round 4: Brandon Davis vs. Charlie Sheen
Round 5: Brandon Davis vs. Axl Rose
" target="_blank"Round 6: Aaron Carter vs. Dustin Diamond
" target="_blank"Round 7: Aaron Carter vs. Terrell Owens
" target="_blank"Round 8: Aaron Carter vs. Kevin Federline
TELEVISION BLOGS
The Gauntlet: Finale Recap
The OC Season 3 Finale Odds of Deathh! (Two h's on purpose, bitch)
Fresh Meat: The Alumni
Fresh Meat: The Uh, Fresh Meat
Dr. 90210 is an American Hero! Yay! (And the Debut of the Thumbs Up Clip Art!)
Five Suggestions for Zidane (and something about today's episode of NEXT)
" target="_blank"Fresh Meat Recap: Playing with Fake Sharks! YAY!
" target="_blank"Fresh Meat Recap: The Finale
A Few Misplaced Thoughts About TV Last Night
MISCELLANEOUS BLOGS
THE RETURN
Cashiers Missing Fingers
Save Sean Preston
I Think the News is Getting Dumber (Because I Know I'm Not Getting Smarter)
Support Kevin Federline! For Serious, Yo.
" target="_blank"How Me and The Boys Almost Got Knifed by Homeboys We Never Met
A Running Diary of My One Day of Jury Duty.
" target="_blank"A Few Random Thoughts from an Internet Cafe in Poland
" target="_blank"A Little Poem About Childhood
Seven Times: My Play That Was Banned From Westmont
MyGen Profile Generator

My Interests

In case you're wondering, all of the new writing is going directly in the blogs section. I'm kind of over updating the front page constantly. For now. Things might change, but for the love of God, go check out some of the blogs. They're all new.br

I'd like to meet:

The douchebag who keeps creating new versions of the same annoying dude that follows me from gym to gym.

Music:

Hear me on The Petros and Money Show weekdays from 4-7 PM on AM 570 Radio in Los Angeles.

Movies:

See me in The Phoenix and The Drowning of Simple Lives.

Television:

See me on Dees Guys TV premiering January 23. www.deesguys.com

Books:

see me live at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Hollywood November 19.

Heroes:

Hank Moody.

My Blog

The Official Ashley Parker Angel Who’s The Bigger Tool Contest Round14: The Biggest Battle Ever

Oh yeah it was the four months wait. It's friend against friend, douche against douche, lil bitch against bitch for the ultimate title of toolpremacy. This is Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior, Rock...
Posted by carlomoss. on Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:37:00 PST

Don’t Call It a Comeback

So yeah, I've been off of the ol' myspace for a while. Four months to be exact.And in the process, myspace somehow cleaned house and all of a sudden I have two hundred fewer friends, half of whom are ...
Posted by carlomoss. on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 01:45:00 PST

The Official Ashley Parker Angel Who's The Bigger Tool Contest Round 13

The Los Angeles Lakers. The Dallas Cowboys. The New York Yankees. Manchester United. The High School That Teen Wolf Played At. Every one of these historic dynasties pales in comparison to the legend ...
Posted by carlomoss. on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 09:59:00 PST

The Best Drive Home Ever

So last week I had the best drive home ever. Okay, maybe not best, but dear God, was it interesting. I just finished acting class in Hollywood and was headed back to my house in Santa Clarita. Here's ...
Posted by carlomoss. on Thu, 05 Jul 2007 10:12:00 PST

The Official Ashley Parker Angel Who's The Bigger Tool Contest Round 12

Like I predicted, Spencer from the Hills continued his reign of tooldom with an absolute murdering of The Kobe Video Guys. Apparently, most people, not big fans of Kobe Bryant. Subsequently, anybody w...
Posted by carlomoss. on Tue, 03 Jul 2007 02:48:00 PST

The Official Ashley Parker Angel Who's The Bigger Tool Contest Round 11

So, for the first time in his life Pac-Man Jones is officially somebody's bitch (besides Roger Goodell.) And to top it off, that somebody is none other than effing Spencer from the effing Hills. And I...
Posted by carlomoss. on Wed, 27 Jun 2007 11:17:00 PST

The Official Ashley Parker Angel Who's The Bigger Tool Contest Round 10

OH HELL YES! IT'S BACK! IT'S EFFING BACK! After months on hiatus telling jokes in the smoky bars of Santa Barbara, I have brought back the one and only Ashley Parker Angel Who's the Bigger Tool Contes...
Posted by carlomoss. on Wed, 20 Jun 2007 08:40:00 PST

obsessions of summer2007 in three parts. [part 3].

Good trilogies know that more than three of anything isn't just ostentatious. It's annoying. So with that in mind, my third and final part of "obsessions of summer 2007 in three parts."HBO SUNDAY NIGH...
Posted by carlomoss. on Tue, 19 Jun 2007 10:30:00 PST

obsessions of summer2007 in three parts. [part 2].

And we're back! I swear if you can tell me where that quote comes from, you could be best friend material. Here's more things I'm obsessing over this summer:LISTENING SEMI-IRONICALLY TO BAD NU-METAL M...
Posted by carlomoss. on Fri, 15 Jun 2007 04:34:00 PST

obsessions of summer2007 in three parts. [part 1].

Welcome back me! If it seems like I've been gone for longer than forever, it's called college, and thank God it's done forever. In honor of the return of my blogging regularity, I thought I'd give ya'...
Posted by carlomoss. on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 11:46:00 PST