Exploding Records in Your Face! profile picture

Exploding Records in Your Face!

I like to smack 'er around - audio is my bitch!

About Me

How many fists can you shove through a Studebaker? If it's a Conestoga then the answer is "a lot." All other models can only take forty-seven; unless you use children's fists. Children can't pierce the skin of a pre-1998 automobile, so they don't really even count in this instance. Though, if you took a child's fist and modified it to contain a similar amount of power to an antelope with a shotgun taped to its forehead then the answer would depend on how many modified toddler minions you have created. At this point one should be less concerned with shoving fists through Studebakers and more concerned with changing the world.

My Interests

Smashing hamburger trains, drilling for oil, hardcore Legomaniatic porn, the P Diddy shoulder dance.

I'd like to meet:

People born with toilet bowl brushes for hands, sasquatch's financial advisor, and Walt Disney's breakfast from the morning of June 3rd 1952.

Music:

Lamb of God, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Brian Wilson, Megadeth, Bikini Kill, Unearth, Opeth, The Vandals, Le Tigre, Jeff Beck, Beck, Portishead, The Pixies, Pantera (R.I.P. D.D.), The Breeders, Danzig, Radiohead, Machine Head, Mr. Bungle (California is the greatest album of all time), Local H, The Tom Tom Club, Bury Your Dead, Superjoint Ritual, Hendrix, GnR, The Slits, Shadows Fall, Soundgarden, Henry Rollins, The Ditty Bops, The Lemonheads, Silence After Tragedy, Crue, Metallica, Sepultura, Venom, Kiss, Bjork, The Red Chord, Full Blown Chaos, Helmet, Darkest Hour, Tiger Army, Van Halen, Buddah Heads, Smashing Pumpkins, Violent Femmes, Sonic Youth, God Forbid, Primus, Slayer, Queen, AC/DC, COC, The Clash... and other stuff.

Movies:

Shitty horror flicks, good horror flicks, Kevin Smith stuff, Sonny Chiba in the Street Fighter films, Wild Zero, everything Tarantino except for Jackie Brown - that was crap, and Nicholson in Batman.

Television:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Simpsons, The Price Is Right

Books:

Bukowski, Klosterman, Max Brooks, Ginsberg, Burroughs, Massey, Bob Katz, Kerouac, Conan Doyle

Heroes:

Phil Spector, fire

My Blog

Stupid Cats Make Stupid Pets

Yea, so what the fuck is going on where everybody and their least favorite cartoon character is adding "...bitchez" to the end of every sentence? Listen people... If you and the rest of the world see ...
Posted by Exploding Records in Your Face! on Wed, 08 Mar 2006 09:51:00 PST

The slow death of Dr. Turntable

I swear to God if one more person rear-ends me I'm going to slit their fucking throat and kick them in the face.Two days ago I'm on my way to work and the light turns red... so I stop. I'm sitting the...
Posted by Exploding Records in Your Face! on Sat, 11 Feb 2006 12:29:00 PST

Florida's broken, but I have a hammer.

The latest, the greatest... another mildly intriguing blog from Dr. Greg B. Awesome:I've stopped going to Wal-Mart and I find myself a much better adjusted individual. I haven't run over a squirrel in...
Posted by Exploding Records in Your Face! on Sun, 22 Jan 2006 09:31:00 PST

Gleek on a churro.

I'm not a violent person, but Wal-Mart brings out the worst in me. I went in tonight to get some soda and hot fries, just a regular pointless Wal-Mart trip. Well I get to the self checkout lane and st...
Posted by Exploding Records in Your Face! on Thu, 15 Sep 2005 09:53:00 PST

Loading Docks & Shopping Carts

Holy shit! I'm getting a new bike! Not some motor driven lamo machine... a bicycle... and not just any bicycle, a Stolen The Getaway street/vert/park bicycle! I can't wait! I haven't ridden in a coupl...
Posted by Exploding Records in Your Face! on Mon, 05 Sep 2005 10:29:00 PST

Woodchips and cocaine binges.

I need to get Dick Tracy on the horn cause this is fucked up.I live in a 400 sq. ft. space and my electric bill averages around $100-$110 a month. I'm thinking someone (or something) is ganking my jui...
Posted by Exploding Records in Your Face! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Secret Recipe (Tartar Control Elective)

These times... These times are not something new and surprising in and of themselves, they're just new and surprising to us. And although that doesn't make them any less important, we should realize a...
Posted by Exploding Records in Your Face! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Raging Mollusk

Jack Bruce of Cream called last night, he wanted his corn holders back. I told him I didn't have them so he hung up on me. I'm sick of this guy... always with the missing utensils. I stole them from y...
Posted by Exploding Records in Your Face! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

78,000% More Calcium! Sterilize the smallblock!

I finally got xbox live. My gamer tag is Destructovator. Come find me if you dare, or if you don't dare. Either way, I'm the man so give me your car. Have you ever walked out to your car to find that...
Posted by Exploding Records in Your Face! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Willy Wonka had a dream, and Gene Wilder was great in it.

My Tampa studio will be open to the public by the end of next year. It will include four affordable, spacious, fully equipped (vocal/instrument monitoring PA) rehearsal rooms and a large professional ...
Posted by Exploding Records in Your Face! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST