Adam

Adam Krueger is a genius and has a great set of balls. That being said, I will now attempt the impossible: describing what sets him apart from all other artists, not to mention all other living organisms. Being that his being is an enigma this is a difficult task. In my feeble attempt to relate his profound uniqueness to the common folk, I will now list some examples of Sir Krueger’s “differentness.” Krueger sings in the shower. LOUD. But he does not sing actual words. He sings in a tongue that the learned people refer to as gibberish. His advanced handle of the language is unmatched by any other. If you were lucky enough to be one of his neighbors, you might hear something like this, “Rrrrrrrtaaaaaaaaataaata Zaaaaaa Baaaaaaa Daaadaaa Doo. Kiii kiii.”For the past ten years Krueger has not worn a single pair of matching socks. A true mark of genius. Krueger prefers to eat cereal that is marketed towards children under five, for example: Captain Crunch, Lucky Charms, Frankenberry, and Fruit Loops. His favorite muppet character is Kermit - enough said. If he had to live the rest of his life on a deserted island and could only bring three things with him, they would be his fiancé, hair bleach, and an endless supply of Pabst Blue Ribbon. His favorite band of all time is Millie Vanillie. He has a fondness for pink flamingos and boobies. Adam Krueger often wonders what it would be like to be a snowflake...or a dolphin. He would sooner lick the floor of a subway station than become anything other than an artist. Adam really dislikes people who eat shit...I mean talk shit. Now to his art. It’s fantastic. Moving on, I would like to say that Adam Krueger, although being pre-pubesent, is EXTREMELY dedicated, GOAL oriented, DEVILISHLY good-looking, not to mention AMAZINGLY humble. Born in the glorious suburbs of Illinois, Krueger recalls drawing inspiration from the corn fields. Well, not really, but what else is there to look at in a small town called Elburn. It has been rumored that Krueger emerged from the womb holding a paint brush in one hand and an eight pack of Crayola Crayons in the other. (He still has the crayons.) Not to long after his birth, he was shipped out to the East Coast where he attended undergraduate school at the Rhode Island School of Design. After graduation, Krueger began to wander around until he came upon a small island which he decided to call Manhattan. He has now taken up residence in that island and has just completed his Masters degree from the School of Visual Arts. It goes without saying that the world will be keeping an eye on Mr. Krueger, as will his creepy neighbors with the window facing his.