evan is a closet freak, emily loses all morals when she drinks, haley's IQ is below average, gay james only lets us smoke in his car when he's drunk, straight james will do anything for $$$ (in a good way), des has secret tits, leah owns a sidekick 4 and likes to incorporate words with "asian", rachel is a dedicated phi mu, steph is lying about pink dot, lauren strongly opposes abortion, kelsye is stumbling around right now.
THIS IS ME: "Do Not Give Me Any Drugs"
