attention creepy bug in my bathrooms cousin....

you are even badder than your buddy who was in my bathroom. and you tried to kill me. which wasn't at all fair becasue you probably would have won. your strategy was ruthless. i, smoking outside and p...
Posted by on Sun, 06 Jul 2008 18:25:00 GMT

Attention creepy bug in my bathroom

I saw you like a week ago. Josh tried to get you but you made your way behind the toilet. I guessed I just thought you would be out of sight and out of mind that way. Last night I came home drunk and ...
Posted by on Thu, 22 May 2008 11:05:00 GMT

Single female seeks....

Someone who is deeply narcissistic and self involved.Insecurity, causing jealousy, controlingness, and the ability to be very socially awkward is a must, using me as a crutch in group settings since y...
Posted by on Sun, 30 Dec 2007 01:02:00 GMT

Prawns are big shrimp.

Today I remembered the time when I brought a girl our Prawn Tortellini at work and she goes, 'Excuse me, you didn't tell me there was shrimp in this.'Yeah.
Posted by on Mon, 25 Jun 2007 23:38:00 GMT

It's so damn hot, milk was a bad choice.

My quarter century mark is just around the corner and if I've learned anything as of late it's this...trying on different hats is ok and neccesary, but the sooner you figure yourself out, the better. ...
Posted by on Tue, 05 Jun 2007 18:27:00 GMT

My grandma has a booty call.

My 70ish year old grandmother, who sold her house, bought and Airstream Trailer and now travels the Southwest in it with her dog Oscar, has herself a 'friend'.This 'friend's' name is David. David is 4...
Posted by on Sun, 20 May 2007 22:23:00 GMT

Blackberry Cobbler and Blowholes.

So last night at work my crazy German coworker/friend Iris starts talking to me about how she'll fist me if I want her too because I've had PMS for about 5 days and I just want my period to start beca...
Posted by on Sun, 25 Feb 2007 09:47:00 GMT

Dear Tony Dungy...

Sports Center said it best about you, dear sir,"A win for a coach who deserves it the most, but needs it the least (in terms of the richness of his life outside of football). Tony Dungy is now a Champ...
Posted by on Mon, 05 Feb 2007 11:25:00 GMT

Myspace Trackers are creepy...

Why would you want to know who looks at your page all the time? Who sends messages to each other? It doesn't matter. Myspace is not real life. It's a good way to post funny shit on your friend's pages...
Posted by on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:10:00 GMT

Dakota Fanning is creepy.

Seriously. That's really all I have to say. She's a creepy, creepy child. 
Posted by on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 22:35:00 GMT