Carla profile picture

Carla

Lately Your Low Self-Esteem Is Just Good Common Sense

About Me

~ I have three cats (Margo, Dudlee, and Shakespeare).
~ I watch more than the FDA recommended daily allowance of television.
~ I think air-conditioning is the best invention ever.
~ I am addicted to cereal.
~ I avoid the number 6 like the plague.
~ I have my B.A. in English, but I still have bad grammar.
~ I have bipolar disorder (rapid cycling) with psychotic features.
~ I am a Gemini, and I have two sides to every story.
~ I am selfish.
~ I am mastered in the art of self-sabotage.
~ I have been lost for a long time.
~ Sometimes I miss my innocence.
~ I cuss like a sailor.
~ I am bad at keeping in touch with old friends.
~ I can make you laugh until you pee your pants.
~ I am full of useless trivia.
~ Spontaneity is f-u-n.
~ I am a night owl.
~ I spend way too much time on the computer.
~ I am lazy.
~ I am extremely confident, yet I dont have any self-confidence.
~ I don't like being responsible.
~ I smoke like a chimney, and I dont want to quit.
~ My mind, body, and soul are filled with poetry and creative intelligence.
~ Two words: road trip.
~ I push people away when they get too close.
~ I love movies and songs and books that can make me cry.
~ I am locked in fear, guilt, and anxiety.
~ Purple is my favorite color.
~ I wear too much make-up.
~ I don't ever want to grow up.
~ I am not good at good-byes.
~ I still have hope in a world full of butterflies and jellybeans.
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Uncle Jim, may you forever soar with the eagles.
I love you.
(1949-2007)
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My dearest Fiona,
I'll meet you in dreamland.
May you rest in peace.
(1972 - 2005)__________________________________________________
Do you need to confess something?
Is the guilt eating you up inside?
Join my "I Confess" group, and let us know what is on your mind.
We may cry with you, laugh with you, or even laugh at you.
Go ahead, tell us your secrets. You know you want to.
You can check out the group here.
Or you can go ahead and
THANKS!!__________________________________________________
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Want to leave me a comment? I know you do. Thanks!!

My Interests



I'm interested in lots of things from A to Z.

Abnormal Psychology
Activism
Alpha Sigma Alpha Sorority
American Civil Liberties Union
Art
BDSM
Bicycling
Board Games
Cartoons
Cats
Chatting
Chili Peppers
Chivalry
Computers
Denis Leary
Eddie Izzard
Family
Flirting
Football
Friends
Georges Seurat
Happiness
Holidays
Hypnotism
Incense
Internet
Jim Gaffigan
Jokes
Journaling
Kansas City Chiefs
Kinky Sex
Kissing
Kite Flying
Liberal Politics
Lollipops
Love
Lust
Massage
Meditation
Mountains
Movies
Music
Naps
NASCAR
Oral Sex
Peter Pan
Piercings
Planned Parenthood
Playing Cards
Poetry
Pop Rocks
Popsicles
Quirky People
Reading
Reproductive Rights
Runes
Saunas
Scrabble
Self-Discovery
Snow
Soulcards
Stand-Up Comedy
Swimming
Tarot
Tattoos
Thunderstorms
Useless Trivia
Valiance
Velvet
Veterans
Writing
Xyzlacatosis
Yahoo
YMCA's
Yoga
Zero Gravity

I'd like to meet:



Does this mean "meet" as in famous people? Or does it mean hypothetically like whom would I meet if I could meet anyone from anytime? Is this where I'm supposed to describe the people I want as friends on MySpace? What about my perfect mate? Hmmm...

Famous People:

Hypothetically:
J.M. Barrie
Martin Luther King, Jr.
William Shakespeare
Rosa Parks
My Aunt Alma

MySpace Friends:
I want to make friends that will enlighten and intrigue me. I want to get to know people that will help me expand my view on the world. I'm a freak for anyone that can make me laugh, and I also dig people with whom I can talk seriously about philosophy, religion, politics, or mental illness. Also, people that poke badgers with spoons fascinate me.



I love to play Spades
Pair up with a partner in this four-player online card game of wits.

Pogo.com — play hundreds of fun games online!

Music:



Besides Prince being my personal god and savior, I also jive to: The Counting Crows, They Might Be Giants, All, The Descendents, Lucinda Williams, Taylor Swift, Merle Haggard, Buckethead, Violent Femmes, Styx, Nirvana, Barenaked Ladies, Tom T. Hall, Serge Gainsbourg, Enigma, Lionel Richie, Joan Jett, Liz Phair, Alanis Morissette, Madonna, Meatloaf, Air Supply, Enya, Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine, Billy Joel, The Bangles, Dashboard Confessional, The Eurythmics, Toby Keith, Tracy Chapman, Jim Croce, REM, ABBA, George Strait, Doug Stone, Patsy Cline, Tim McGraw, Peaches, Joshua Kadison, George Michael, Tina Turner, Garbage, Bloodhound Gang, The Beatles, Patty Loveless, Billy Idol, Jewel, Duran Duran, Ani Difranco, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams Sr., and Salt 'n' Peppa (cause I wanna Shoop). I'm also big into one-hit wonders like Melanie's "Brand New Key", Johnny Preston's "Running Bear", Kyper's "Tic Tac Toe", Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart", Ram Jam's "Black Betty", and Men Without Hats' "Safety Dance". I hate Elvis, Elvis impersonators, anyone in a gold lame' suit, chicks named Lisa Marie or Priscilla, blue suede shoes, people that think they are hounddogs, out-of-control sideburns, and Graceland (though I like the song Graceland by Paul Simon).

Movies:

My favorite movie is Peter Pan. In fact, I'm a rabid collector of Peter Pan paraphernalia (better than drug paraphernalia I suppose).
Other movies I dig are: Office Space, The Ref, Heathers, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Gia, The Shawshank Redemption, Cube, Hypercube, Cube Zero, Running With Scissors, Nowhere, The Doom Generation, Totally Fucked Up, Real Genius, Dogma, The Birdcage, As Good As It Gets, This Girl's Life, Zoolander, Heavenly Creatures, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, American Beauty, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Donnie Darko, Fight Club, The Royal Tennenbaums, Frailty, Waking Life, Arsenic and Old Lace, Billy Madison, Tommy Boy, Wedding Crashers, A Christmas Story, Resevoir Dogs, Hook, Beaches, Happiness, Mr. Jones, Crash, Prozac Nation, Saw, If These Walls Could Talk 1 and 2, The Mothman Prophecies, Pulp Fiction, Four Rooms, Better Off Dead, Almost Famous, The Benchwarmers, Badder Santa, Eurotrip, Gross Pointe Blank, Mad Love, E.T., Half Baked, Elf, Sleepless In Seattle, My Left Foot, Toy Story 1 and 2, Memento, SLC Punk, The Cider House Rules, So I Married An Axe Murderer, Con-Air, Firestarter, The Bad Seed, The Sixth Sense, Signs, Forrest Gump, Vera Drake, The Weather Man, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Stir of Echoes, Wild Things, Seven, Clerks, Brokeback Mountain, Anchorman, The Usual Suspects, Very Bad Things, The Ring 1 and 2, Pi, What Dreams May Come, In My Skin, Animal House, Philadelphia, Being John Malkovich, Pushing Tin, Say Anything, The Virgin Suicides, Mommie Dearest, Boys on the Side, PCU, The Dream Team, The Wedding Singer, Arlington Road, Nothing to Lose, Cruel Intentions, Requiem for a Dream, Identity, Good Will Hunting, Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon, The Shining, The English Patient, Hostel, Schindler's List, When Harry Met Sally, anything by John Hughes from the 80's, the National Lampoon's Vacation Series, Leaving Las Vegas, Easy, Meet the Parents, and Girl, Interrupted.

Television:

My favorite television shows are: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report, Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Family Guy, Lil' Bush, Real Time with Bill Maher, Survivor, The Amazing Race, Big Love, Frontline, and endless re-runs of Seinfeld, Fraiser, Friends and Match Game (who doesn't love Charles Nelson Reily?).
Don't tell anyone, but I secretly like to watch Judge Judy, American Idol, Big Brother, Beauty and the Geek, Saved By the Bell, all those weirdo shows on Discovery Health Channel, and infomercials (I know, I suck).
During football season, I loyally watch my Kansas City Chiefs. I also watch NASCAR when it doesn't interfere with football. My favorite drivers are Mark Martin and Carl Edwards.

I usually don't watch any other sports on television except the baseball playoffs and the World Series. Oh, except I love watching those strong man competitions on ESPN. Its freaky-freak what some of those Nordic men can do!

Books:

I read any and everything I can get my hands on, including shampoo bottles. My favorite poet is Merrit Malloy, though her books are out of print now. "The People Who Didn't Say Goodbye" is my favorite poetry book by her.
Other poets I enjoy reading are: Shel Silverstein, Adrienne Rich, Sharon Olds, Sylvia Plath, Anne Sexton, Sahara Sunday Spain, ee cummings, Allen Ginsberg, Marilyn Hacker and Portia Nelson. Also, I have two poetry books called "Verses That Hurt" and "Things I Have To Tell You" that totally kick ass.
As far as canonical literature, I like: Shakespeare, Albert Camus, Mark Twain, D.H. Lawrence, Franz Kafka, J.D. Salinger, Jack Kerouac, Ernest Hemingway, Edgar Allen Poe, George Orwell, Henry Miller, Toni Morrison, and Joseph Conrad. Other authors I enjoy reading are: J.M. Barrie, Chuck Palahniuk, Anne Rice, Dan Brown, Hugh Prather, Deborah Hautzig, Sue Kidd, David Sedaris, Douglas Adams, George Carlin, Zora Neale Hurston, Janet Evanovich, Stephen King, Mitch Albom, Sark, Douglas Copeland, Sonya Hartnett, Rita Mae Brown, and Audre Lourde.Oh yeah, I am also a non-fiction fanatic. I greatly enjoy reading books about history, mental illness, politics, and religion.

Heroes:

As far as hero sandwiches I like meatballs, swiss cheese, and pickles. If we are talking cartoon heroes, its gotta be a tie between Poppa Smurf and Peter Pan. I can't decide who's the smurfiest. Political heroes are few and far between, but I would definitely have to say Rosa Parks, Margaret Sanger, Martin Luther King, Jr. and people that support a woman's right to choose when it comes to her reproductive rights.

My dad is a World War II Naval hero. He served on the U.S.S. Warrick in the South Pacific during the last two years of the war (he will be 81 this year; he was 48 when I was born). My mom is a family hero for practically raising her seven brothers and sisters, as well as me and my two sisters. The rest of my family and friends are heroes to me for being such good, honest people. Tina Turner says, "We don't need another hero", but I disagree...

My Blog

Maze

Maze, Lately I have been really missing you.  I pick up the phone, but I just can't seem to dial the numbers.  I start an e-mail, but I never know how to finish.  I hope you are finding...
Posted by Carla on Sun, 13 Apr 2008 08:39:00 PST

Six Months

It has been six months since I have cut.  I don't know whether to be proud or not because I'm scared I'll start again.
Posted by Carla on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 06:40:00 PST

My Uncle Jim

I just wanted to let everyone know my Uncle Jim died yesterday, October 6th.  His body will be cremated this week, and then my cousin (his daughter) will fly his ashes back to his hometown i...
Posted by Carla on Mon, 08 Oct 2007 07:17:00 PST

A Death Sentence

Each year about 30,000 people in the United States are diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the pancreas. Most of these will have passed away by the end of the first year. In the U.S., pancreatic cancer...
Posted by Carla on Mon, 04 Jun 2007 12:34:00 PST

Voices

Voices call to me in the storm as the rain soaks my naked, exposed body.I try not to listen, but the voices are incessant and unrelenting.The first voice offers me stability and a cure for loneliness,...
Posted by Carla on Sun, 03 Jun 2007 09:26:00 PST

Requiem for a Relationship

So I'm at the end of the list with all the anti-depressants on the market. I actually make a pros and cons list of either getting an implant put in my brain or committing suicide (I'm not one of those...
Posted by Carla on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 07:20:00 PST

Why Break Tradition Now?

I've blogged this for the past two years on Valentine's Day, so here you go again.  Enjoy. Valentine's Dayby Merrit MalloyIt was Valentine's DayAnother Christmas for loversHe thought surely he wo...
Posted by Carla on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 08:10:00 PST

From Me To You

I haven't written a blog on here in so long, I think maybe I forgot how.  I've been writing blogs on another site.  A more private site.  A place where no one knows me, and they ca...
Posted by Carla on Sat, 10 Feb 2007 11:29:00 PST

You Are The Ghost That Never Leaves

I can see the outline of your face (I drew it so many times).I can feel the scars on your arm and the bumps on your head.I can smell the sex.I can feel the water gushing in the jacuzzi tubharder and h...
Posted by Carla on Wed, 15 Mar 2006 05:27:00 PST

Out of It...

My agoraphobia has been really, REALLY bad lately. I just don't want to leave my house. I can't. Everytime I even think about it or attempt it, I either freeze up or have a panic attack. Also, I h...
Posted by Carla on Sun, 26 Feb 2006 03:16:00 PST