COLT

Here is a short description of me - always interrupts people - nods frequently but isn’t listening - scratches a lot - fidgets constantly - whines and complains a lot - doesn’t get most jokes – needs to have them explained - makes nonsensical jokes with very obscure punch lines - tends to spray spittle while speaking - talks too loudly - seems very greasy - has very bad skin - likes to play games - is really awkward around the opposite gender - has fleas - eats other people’s leftovers (without asking) - thinks the world is far too loud - Dances very awkwardly - is rude to waiters and waitresses - freaks out and runs away in the middle of a conversation - has a very hairy neck - has a very bad attitude toward everything - Is a sexist pig - Is very selfish - chews fingernails - carries lots of bags, parcels, and packages - talks in third person- And overall, is a real drag to hang out with.