Stephen profile picture

Stephen

thechaosmonkey

About Me

I’m not attractive today, I’m not a sight for sore eyes
I'm not an Adam or Eve, I'm just a nervous young thing
Hear my voice strain as I sing, my will won't bend and then break
The crate will break and I'll fall, I couldn't help it at all
I’ve got a license to confuse, what do we got to lose?
A license to confuse
I guess I got what it takes to help me make this mistake
It took a while but I learned, it took a twist but I turned
And now its clear that I’m blind, another mountain to climb
Another distance to fall, I couldn't help it all
I’ve got a license to confuse, what have you got to lose?
A license to confuse
I shouldn't sound so forlorn, regret the day I was born
‘Cuz here I am and I've been, I only need a few friends
My hands are sweating all day like I've been letting me down
Like I've been letting me slide, just some nonsense on my mind
And the license to confuse, nothing I can use
Bust it, build it for a year
Here's my license that's my right
The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we kill those people. - Bill Hicks

My Interests

Black licorice sucks.

No, seriously, you anise pushing motherfuckers can all rot in hell.

You will most likely die from the hands of my arm
When I come and fly and take off-a your face
with the front of my Hatredcopter

I'd like to meet:

When I was in high school, my friends used to like to drive around and toss M-80's out of their car windows just to see if they could feel the concussion from the blast... I'd like to meet people who don't do that.

Music:

GG Allin, Anthrax, At The Drive-In, Atheist, Burt Bacharach, Lou Barlow, BATTLEs, Be Careful Little Hands, Big Black, Big Business, The Birthday Party, Black Sabbath, The Blood Brothers, Blood Freak, Boredoms, Boris, boysetsfire, British Sea Power, Steve Burns, Butthole Surfers, Cannibal Corpse, Carcass, Johnny Cash, Celtic Frost, Clutch, Leonard Cohen, Comets on Fire, Sam Cooke, Cows, Cult of Luna, The Cure, Curse Of The Golden Vampire, Cynic, Dälek, Dead Kennedys, Death Angel, Death From Above 1979, Deerhoof, Deicide, Dillinger Escape Plan, Dinosaur Jr, Dog Fashion Disco, Düreforsög, Eagles of Death Metal, Easter Bloodhounds, Eels, Enon, Estradasphere, Exodus, Explosions In The Sky, Faith No More, Fantômas, Fear Factory, The Flaming Lips, Frank Black and the Catholics, Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention, Serge Gainsbourg, Goatsnake, Godflesh, Grandaddy, GWAR, Harvey Milk, Hemophiliac, High On Fire, Immortal Technique, Infectious Grooves, Interpol, Isis, Jesu, The Jesus And Mary Chain, Michio Kurihara, Kyuss, Lamb Of God, LARD, Lightning Bolt, Lovage, Manic Street Preachers, Mastodon, Mayhem, MC Chris, Meathook Seed, Megadeth, MELT BANANA, Melvins, MF Doom, Charles Mingus, Ministry, Misfits, Modest Mouse, Mogwai, Mondo Generator, Ennio Morricone, Motörhead, My Bloody Valentine, Napalm Death, Neurosis, Neutral Milk Hotel, Nick Cave and the Bad Seed, Nine Inch Nails, Obituary, Of Montreal, Oneida, P, Pissed Jeans, Porn, Rapeman, Reid Paley, Jaco Pastorius, Pantera, Pelican, Pig Destroyer, The Pixies, Primus, Public Enemy, Queens Of The Stone Age, Radiohead, Ruins, Sacred Reich, Scorn, Sebadoh, Secret Chiefs 3, Shellac, Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Skeleton Key, Sleater-Kinney, Slayer, Sonic Youth, Sparklehorse, Suicidal Tendencies, Super Furry Animals, Testament, Tomahawk, Tool, Trevor Dunn's Trio-Convulsant, TV On The Radio, Urgehal, Venom, Venomous Concept, Tom Waits, Ween, Weezer, Wire, Yuka Honda, John Zorn ...and the list keeps growing.

Movies:

Too many, but here's a sampling: No Country For Old Men, GRINDHOUSE, Sin City, Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, The Royal Tennenbaums, The Life Aquatic, The Big Lebowski, Un Chien Andalou, Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Lost In Translation, Goodfellas, The Evil Dead Trilogy, Wild Strawberries, Hour Of The Wolf, RAN, The ORIGINAL NON-SPECIAL-EDITION Star Wars Trilogy, Harold and Maude, cheesy horror, Japanese splatter films (Audition and Ichi the Killer, ect.), anime (although I'm too cheap to buy enough to be a nerd about it), REAL zombie movies with SLOW GODDAMN MOVING MOTHERFUCKING ZOMBIES, and more.

Books:

Anything by Richard Brautigan, Kurt Vonnegut, Hunter S. Thompson, or H.P. Lovecraft... and I also love reading old collections of Bloom County, unnecessarily dense philosophical texts, and books about quantum mechanics... and pornography (but it's just for the pictures, I swear)

My Blog

Happy holidays, motherfuckers!

I still have the hat. More hijinks to follow soon....
Posted by Stephen on Wed, 12 Dec 2007 07:40:00 PST

A worthless anecdote from a useless life.

Yesterday I was walking around downtown Sarasota aimlessly on my lunch break, as I'm often apt to do, when, outside of one of the many small-yet-not-grungy-enough pubs in that town, I saw an old man d...
Posted by Stephen on Fri, 07 Dec 2007 09:27:00 PST

And the wrongest motherfuckers alive are...

... the half-dozen or so festering cockgluttons* who could have been at the Dinosaur Jr show tonight, and yet, decided not to show up. I don't care what your excuses are, there is no excuse for not be...
Posted by Stephen on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:51:00 PST

So, I just watched Apocalypto...

... I wonder if there's something about foaming-at-the-mouth Jew-hating that just gives a motherfucker an unnatural knack for filming an hour long chase sequence and managing to keep it interesting th...
Posted by Stephen on Sun, 02 Dec 2007 07:02:00 PST

If a teddy bear is a threat to your faith...

... you are a fucking pussy. KHARTOUM, Sudan - Thousands of Sudanese, many armed with clubs and knives, rallied Friday in a central square and demanded the execution of a British teacher convicted of ...
Posted by Stephen on Fri, 30 Nov 2007 05:57:00 PST

I like to take pictures.

It's become an obsession of late. You should look at them all here and tell me what you think.
Posted by Stephen on Mon, 26 Nov 2007 08:25:00 PST

Melt-Banana in Tampa... a brief overview

Things I Got Hit In The Face With at Tonight's Melt-Banana Show:The Lead Singer of the second opening act. All of him. Right in my face.Yasuko O's mic cable (three times)Fake giant spider legs (two ti...
Posted by Stephen on Thu, 22 Nov 2007 11:35:00 PST

Excerpts From a Text Conversation

Bleedy: Two things. 1) it feels like spring. It's completely frightening. 2) my nipples hurt like hell and I don't know whyMe: Have you been suckling hobos again?Bleedy: Never. Not since that one time...
Posted by Stephen on Tue, 20 Nov 2007 01:44:00 PST

Boredom...

... it's a dangerous thing.
Posted by Stephen on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:46:00 PST

Two Pictures Taken While Distracted On The Job.

... and now, I feel like sharing them with you savages. ...
Posted by Stephen on Tue, 23 Oct 2007 09:01:00 PST