Joshua profile picture

Joshua

Into the darkness I plunge willingly, and in the ethereal world of instability I exist intangible.

About Me

I am not really sure why I am here. Here on MySpace or here in general, it really makes no difference. Perhaps I am not even here at all... but something must be so that there could be a form labeled as Joshua.

But who, or what is Joshua? I am supposed to define this here in the 'About Me' section; However, things are not so simple. The name 'Joshua' is nothing more than a word used as a point of reference so that others have a way of identifying the said object.

In this particular case, the object (Joshua) is the collective whole of an infinite number of phantasmagoric parts. This leaves the end result, the object (Joshua) as always in constant flux, ethereal and utterly intangible. The noun 'Joshua', and the pronoun 'I' are simply used because one cannot refer to something without first giving it a label, a point of reference. It could be argued that there is nothing to refer to at all, that there is nothing real to even bother identifying... but the superficial form alone shows that there is indeed SOMETHING.


There is no point trying to explain what this 'Something' is... I am everything, and I am nothing. We all live in our own worlds, we each cling to our own illusory realities and for that reason I will be seen as however you wish to see me. In the absolute sense - I am. That is all. In terms of the relative, in your eyes... I am whatever you make me out to be. There is no one answer, there is no one truth. There is no true 'Joshua'Like the reflection of the moon on still waters.. I am there, yet I am not. You may think you see me, you may think you know me, but you do not. You see what I want you to see, along with seeing what YOU want to see. This world is an illusion. I am no different.

My Interests

My interests are nearly limitless, as I keep my mind wide open and receptive to new experiences and changes on all levels of being.

My greatest interests are those of our very own earth. Nature, the environment, and all the expressions of life contained within are the most important things in my temporary state of being. While not in the least bit religious, I am deeply spiritual and always seek to strengthen my connection to the subtle beauty that the majority of our kind overlooks.

My priorities in life are a little out of whack in relation to the typical person who follows the false gods of the flesh, but I manage to fit in well enough to make ends meet. I live life for happiness, for contentment; those qualities are already inside us, they are not found in external sources. Only through ourselves can we reach a state of bliss. Only we can give our lives meaning and purpose, everything comes from within.

As it may be obvious already, my main interests are simply philosophy and spirituality. Most of everything else fits under those categories in one way or another.

A second large grouping of interests are all things surreal, morbid, gloomy and faded. I fight demons every waking moment of every single day of my life, and have grown accustomed to the darkness. I savor my dark thoughts, I cherish my depression and I am thankful for the thorns which tear through me, for they fuel the fire which burns unstoppable within me.

The greatest of all my interests is -living this momentary life- actually alive and AWARE. Not like the living dead, as does the majority of mankind.

I have many other interests on the more typical/materialistic level, ranging from learning and education; languages, cultures, and travel. I also enjoy reading, writing, listening to music and enjoying a good cold beer every once in a while (or perhaps even a little too often).

I am often considered a health nut (despite the alcohol consumption), I love nutrition and exercise, the gym, bicycling, running, hiking, anything active. I have studied martial arts and combatives all of my life, and have grown up to hold a high respect for health and fitness.

There are too many other things that I am either interested in, or could be, or even will be... I am open. It is that simple.

I'd like to meet:

I wish to meet those all over the world. I don't care who you are, or where you are from. With reasonable accomodations, I will go anywhere. I see myself as a global-citizen.

Another thing to make note of, I have the strong desire to meet the girls others are afraid of - the girls who are the wild types with wicked mood swings and reckless impulses. I enjoy those who walk in the shadows in order to avoid being spotted by their therapist or parole officer. Bring on the emotional disturbances, bring on the mental instability, bring on the torment of suicidal depression. There is so much more fun to be had with those who are on the outside of 'normal', and I accept you all. My only requirement is that you are at least willing to play a game or two of pool... regardless if you are any good or not. I simply love the game. (If you are the psychotic type, we can play pool in the depths of your troubled mind... you'll meet your match there as well.)

I am quite experienced, and highly skilled in the arts of isolating myself and keeping others at a safe distance (or away completely). I am so skilled at these things that I rarely even have to try, it just happens as if by natural order.

While I can at times come across as charming, those moments are usually short lived.

I honestly don't care if I meet anyone or not, I am not even really on this pathetic site for such reasons. I won't sugar-coat things or play nice just to avoid running people off and/or scaring them away. I speak my mind, and it can be brutal. You'll meet me or you won't, either way I won't lose any sleep over it.



Click HERE to go to StopSnitching.com

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Music:

Depending on my mood, the atmosphere (when and where), Who I am with, and some other little factors, I like everything. No exceptions.

Much of the music I enjoy most is rather unknown to the general population. I often prefer darker music, ambient and ethereal with deep and intense lyrics. So by liking all music, that does not limit me to just that which is most known, but truly all music from all times and places.

Heroes:

While I have no heros myself, I do have those I have a special kind of respect for, and support in different ways. Some of them will be found here, others will be found across my site.

My Blog

Sobriety

This whole being sober concept is really working out for me, it's quite nice actually. Who would have ever thought I could say such a thing.It has only been around a month, but I have not even the sl...
Posted by Joshua on Wed, 25 Oct 2006 06:38:00 PST

Too drunk to work out profile pics, too drunk to give a damn about much...

This is myself, and a good friend who I have met way too late in my life.I wish I could be acting a little bit more myself, and not appearing so retarded... but so be it. Alcohol does this to people. ...
Posted by Joshua on Sun, 27 Aug 2006 12:30:00 PST