I got beamed in the minor leagues by Sal Martinella (coach of the Cubs) and I've been following him around ever since. That's how I got my great pitching coach job with the Cubbies!
When you are playing in the big show, it takes a lot of work, and it takes a lot of sweat, but eventually I mold players into the greatest to ever play the game.
Now, the key to being a big league pitcher is the three R's: readiness, recuperation, & conditioning.
Ya see, after the game, a lot of guys like to ice up their arm. Still other fellas think that heat is the way to go. But I have discovered the secret - hot ice! That's right, hot ice! I heat up the ice cubes! It's the best of both worlds!
Baseball is one hundred and sixty two grueling games played in more than a dozen cities. Now, on the field we conserve our energy; on the road we conserve our food. Everywhere we go there's free food! Take a piece of cake for example. Now, I wrap it up in my vomit bag, I take it back to the hotel, put it on ice, and in the morning, vwala, breakfast!
Conservation, managing resources, that is the key to baseball!
I'm also very punctual. Punctuality people! Without
it, time stands still!
Nothing like a little pennant fever to get the juices goin'. I like to live life in the fast lane; it's the road less traveled. Sometimes you just gotta put the pedal to the metal and just live the fantasy, rock and roll! I enjoy all the lights and the bells and the whistles, and remember now, it's all free!
I also like the history of the game. I ain't seen the floater pitch since Scuffie McGee, one of my favorite old time pitchers.
All I need is my job, a fresh young pitcher to mold, and my lucky seeds.
Let's play some ball, let's play some ball, yeah!!
