The plural of "Zephalius" is "Zephalii."
But that hardly matters. There is only one.
The Zeph stamp of approval. Get yours today!
The World According to Zeph:
Being hip, according to Zeph: "I don't do hip. Hip and me are like a 95-year-old calcium-deficient grandmother and a slippery staircase. Not only am I a nerd, you understand, I'm a nerd with teenage children. That's like adding an exponent to your nerddom."
How are you, according to Zeph: "I'm spectacular. Duh. I'm me."
Modesty, according to Zeph: "I'm tempted to point out that any subset of the human race which includes me is, by definition, cooler than any other subset regardless of size. But I won't point that out."
Getting in touch with one's feminine side, according to Zeph: "The only time I get in touch with my feminine side is when I TELL myself to go GET me another BEER."
The truest possible expression of love, according to Zeph: "I miss you more than you know.....so fuck you."
"The greatest geniuses sometimes accomplish more when they work less." - Leonardo da Vinci
"If that's the case, I must be the most accomplished man ever." - Zeph
What I Am:
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Tall.
Strikingly handsome.
Far more athletic-looking than I am athletic.
A writer. If you know any writers, you know that we are one egotistical bunch.
Well, okay, maybe not all of us. Some of us. Okay, maybe just me.
What that means is, you wanna get on my good side, read the stuff I've written in my blog and then tell me how brilliantly talented I am. Or what a total ass I am. Or something in between those, if you've gotta be wimpy about it.
A wannabe novelist.
Married, and happily so.
Grammatically correct.
Carnivorous. And hungry.
Addicted to coffee. Not caffiene - coffee.
A mostly recovered nerd.
A science fiction fan.
That means both Star Wars and Star Trek, although I'm not interested in debating which one is better (Star Wars, duh).
I did say a mostly recovered nerd.
And when I say I'm carnivorous, it doesn't mean I won't eat vegetables. I will, as long as they are: horseradish root, mustard seed, peppers and onions (fried or sauteed), or mushrooms, I'm in.
A Packers fan, first and foremost. A Badgers fan second.
A fairweather fan to all else.
Quite imaginative. Go ahead and test me.
"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem. They know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Behan
"Yeah!" - Zeph
A note to those bisexual and lesbian MySpacers who warn men from even applying:
You know, we're not all just sex-maniacal pseudo-perverts who only want to see some more pics of you and your girlfriend.
Okay, scratch that. Yes, we are.
Still, some of us are pretty nice guys. Just agreeing to talk to us isn't the same thing as agreeing to have sex with us, or to let us watch you having sex with your girlfriend(s), which, now that you've brought THAT up, um, what the hell was I saying?
"It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others." - Anonymous
"Consider yourselves warned." - Zeph
Me...
...or reasonable facsimiles thereof.
"The race does not always go to the swift, nor the battle to the strong. But that’s the way to bet." - Anonymous
What I Am Not:
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Boring.
Or bored, for that matter.
Really named Zephram.
Someone who will mimick the same boring comments to your pictures.
Someone who spells "hot" with more than one "t."
Unless, of course, I'm using the word in its comparative or superlative form.
Please note the correct usage and non-usage of apostrophes in the above sentence.
Is this getting too nerdy again?
Very tan, or likely to become so.
A liar.
Infatuated with my own reflection.
Okay, that was pretty close to a lie. Forget that one.
An introverted wallflower.
Unwilling to exaggerate.
Looking for a hookup, or an affair, or whatever the kids are calling them these days.
Do I have to specify that I am not a "hater?" Seems like a lot of people on MySpace want to warn off the "haters." Questions:
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Who exactly are these people, the "haters?"
Who or what is it that they hate?
If you, yourself, feel hate for the "haters," are you not also a hater?
Could it be that, if these "haters" could find just a little love, they would no longer be "haters?" HAS ANYBODY THOUGHT OF THAT?