Crissy...where to start??...There has been lots of tears and soo much laughter between us.There are no words to express the gratitude i feel in my heart for you.We have both gone through soo much and i feel like i relate to you in a much higher level than i ever felt before.I have put all my trust in you.I know i cant give you the world,but i can promise you i will always love you.I pinky promise!My heart is yours,and even though i know i will make mistakes,i will never break your heart.Despit the fact i haven't known you for that long,you have managed to create an extreme impact on my life.My beautiful love,you are my sunshine and sunset.I know we haven't been together for that long,but i want you to know that i love you from the bottom of my heart.You are what keeps me going when i want to give up.We started out as friends just talking,but over the last couple of months i've truly fallen for you head over heels.Okayy i can keep going on and on but it's getting too long now haa.Mmmm...i love you Crissy.Babii!! c(:
-Nikki Boo♥
Dear Nana,
When I learned about the cancer that invaded your body I believed it would go away.Like a cold.It did-for a while.The cancer that invaded is now racing around inside you and creating havoc with your health.The very health that should be yours forever.So I thought.I imagined you outliving me,but I am strong with health and youth;while you slowly slip away each day.This last year I watched your life steadily fade away,but I denied it was happening.Not my Grandma,I would convince myself.She is too good and dear to me.This cancer inside you-I don’t know what kind it is for I pretend it does not exist mercilessly eats at your strengths, but you smile past the pain.As I see you climb over one setback after another I think,this time she will get well.Again and again I say this,hoping that this time will be the final time,but it goes on and on.Death should not be scary.Yet,I am not afraid to die-I just do not want to feel the pain created by your pain you are going through.I remember this last year with you.The sudden entrances to the hospital;the drugs and the loss of strengths;and the determination to walk alone and become independent once again.Yet,everytime you reach a certain point the cancer retaliates and you must start all over again.Such frustration you must feel at each point,but your anger and pride does not give up.Faith alone did not cure you.Maybe your determination is for who you will become and not for what you have been.Grandma-I do not want to lose you.I would gladly trade my health for your cancer,but it is not to be.I want to hold you and tell you that I love you without it feeling phony or uncomfortable, but I can not.You already know I love you, but I never remind you that I do.I love you,Grandma,and whatever journey you may take I will warmly say my goodbyes.Perhaps I may gain some of your spiritual strength that the cancer will never take away.
-Your Nikki Girl