profile picture

85102724

I am here for Friends

About Me

Not much to say. i was born in an igloo on the scioto river in the winter of 1906. spent most of my life scavenging off of animal carcasses and duck eggs. during my adolecent years, i would ride a goat naked while the goat played the harmonica under the bridge for spare change. i slept in stairwells and large horse vaginas during the winter to stay warm. i clawed my way to middle management at burger king where i shit in the deep fryer daily. i ran for mayor of chillicothe, but lost the election when it was discovered that i used to put on donkey shows for piss warm beer and half smoked cigars.i have written several best selling books on motherhood, poetry, and curing diseases with everyday household items. did you know you can get rid of anal warts with duct tape, mr. pibb and a cheese grater? my one true talent is that i can open beer bottles with my anus. and not just those screw on caps either. i love to save little helpless animals. and by save, i mean i put them in jars and keep them in my basement. i'm all about the waffle iron method. if you don't know what that is, i can show you. i like to poop in strange and exotic places. my favorite place to doo doo is canadas front doorstep. oh, canada gets so angry. i also like to experiment with human mutations. i have rigged up several microwaves to work with the doors open. i then sit them in a circle and turn them on while i am in the middle. i am hoping to grow a sweet tail and win the the nobel peace prize for science. and you will all be jealous of my fucking tail.

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Pin Up Girls / Comments

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

dick winters, smurfs, optimus prime, ronnie dobbs, cletus spuckler, john moses browning(if he wasn't dead), ted nugent, and r.lee ermey.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Brady Matthew Cletus Coleman Wright Pike
Birthday: jan. 8
Birthplace: chillicothe (pronounced chill-eh-koth-ee)
Current Location: same shithole
Eye Color: blue? you tell me.
Hair Color: brown, red, blonde. oh, im a cornicopia of colors.
Height: 5'10" or so.
Right Handed or Left Handed: right handed. unless im mastur........ never mind.
Your Heritage: i'm a cracker.
The Shoes You Wore Today: Dickie boots.
Your Weakness: roadkill-kabobs
Your Fears: the Tidy Bowl Man
Your Perfect Pizza: pizza is pizza. except dominoes. nasty shit.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: driving my cadillac again. fix it damnit!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: don't use it.
Thoughts First Waking Up: fuck you sam walton!
Your Best Physical Feature: knee caps
Your Bedtime: fuck you, im not a baby.
Your Most Missed Memory: grandparents. and one i give away.
Pepsi or Coke: mountain pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: depends on what i order.
Single or Group Dates: shlingle
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: shlipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: shchocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: shcoffeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Do you Smoke: yeah, i waste a lot of money on camels
Do you Swear: no, never! jesus is always following me, so i have to be careful.
Do you Sing: like a cat in a woodchipper
Do you Shower Daily: whenever it comes time to harvest the fromunda cheese.
Have you Been in Love: fortunatley, yes.
Do you want to go to College: fortunatley, no.
Do you want to get Married: one of these days.
Do you belive in yourself: about certain things.
Do you get Motion Sickness: no.
Do you think you are Attractive: in low light conditions. if you have glaucoma, that helps.
Are you a Health Freak: huh, fuck no. i wiegh 130#. what do i need to worry about?
Do you get along with your Parents: yes.
Do you like Thunderstorms: as long as i ain't gettin my ass wet.
Do you play an Instrument: no
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yeah, i think.
In the past month have you Smoked: ciggarettes.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date: nope
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: not yet.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: i did once. and it literally turned my shit black. no lie.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: jesus' sandals
Ever been Drunk: yes
Ever been called a Tease: ha ha ha no.
Ever been Beaten up: not really. i laughed at the fucker.
Ever Shoplifted: once. felt like shit afterwords.
How do you want to Die: in a horrible stunt gone wrong
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: i's already growed up.
What country would you most like to Visit: germany or england
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: as long as they have two that point straight, i'm cool
Favourite Hair Color: brunettes
Short or Long Hair: shlong
Height: no taller than me, but not legally a midget. makes sense?
Weight: eh
Best Clothing Style: on my floor
Number of Drugs I have taken: only rx
Number of CDs I own: like 79 billion
Number of Piercings: 4
Number of Tattoos: eleventy eight
Number of things in my Past I Regret: letting my best friend down on more than one occasion

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

My Blog

my disappoinment with irish spring....

on the bottle it says, "All the freshness of Ireland, in a bottle!" well, hoping to open the bottle and be taken away with the smells of whiskey and urine, i only found the fragrance of soap. now, i'v...
Posted by on Sat, 07 Feb 2009 17:54:00 GMT

i have a peter pan complex?

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||| 30% Stability |||||||||||||||| 62% Orderliness |||||| 22% Accommodation |||||||||||||||||| 78% Interdependence |||| 16% I...
Posted by on Thu, 22 Jan 2009 22:42:00 GMT

day to day

i relapse everyday. the closest thing to salvation is sleep. but even there i am not safe. haunted everyday. no matter where i go, or what i do. i try to forget. i try to stop my mind from wondering t...
Posted by on Wed, 28 Feb 2007 23:57:00 GMT

the local crazies!

there aren't too many things in chillicothe to do. and the same can be said for the crazy fuckers that live in this glorious hellhole. we've all met at least one of them at some point. whether it's cr...
Posted by on Sat, 11 Nov 2006 21:58:00 GMT