Wallace profile picture

Wallace

About Me

My family thinks I'm an asshole, partially because I only call them when I need them to post bail, partially because I can never remember their names. I'm bad with names, if we hang out I'll just call you Tonto.

I'm really a sweet person, I’ve never stolen a car without returning it with a full tank of gas, two baseball tickets, and a gently used handgun in the trunk. Juuuuust kidding... who can afford baseball tickets these days? Come to think of it, who can afford gas?
I get confused for Brad Pitt almost everywhere I go... Not Brad Pitt the actor, Brad Pitt the substitute teacher at Caesar Chavez Middle School (Go Coyotes!)

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Calming Dark / Comments


My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Mimes... most people hate mimes, but not me. I like a person who knows when to shut the fuck up.

My Blog

Romance of the open road

Its 1:00 am and I'm driving along the empty 101 back to my apartment from an amazing night in San Francisco. Dispatch is blasting over my stereo as I reach Salinas. The road, empty. It's one of the fe...
Posted by on Fri, 05 Sep 2008 05:09:00 GMT

Kindercollege

Every one walks into the auditorium with the same nervousness that consumed us on our first day of Kindergarden. The only difference now is that we're expected to hide those emotions. So we slowly fil...
Posted by on Tue, 26 Aug 2008 03:46:00 GMT

Midnight Piss

I wake in the middle of the night with a familiar pressure on my bladder telling me I need to piss. So I stumble across my pitch black room, trying not to wake my brother, with whom I share a room wit...
Posted by on Wed, 16 Jul 2008 13:53:00 GMT

I did some stupid shit.

I'm just waking up and feel my stomach roll with hunger, so I pry myself from bed and crawl to the kitchen. I pull open the refrigerator and the light flickers on to reveal the emptiness of it. But hi...
Posted by on Sun, 25 May 2008 14:04:00 GMT

Does It Make A Difference?

Does It Make A Difference? What if I don't recognize their holidays, or pay respect to those who died in wars? What if I refuse to resort to violence to solve my conflicts, and if I don't leave it up ...
Posted by on Fri, 22 Dec 2006 19:42:00 GMT