About Me
I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "The Terminator". First, I crouch down in the shower, in the classic, "naked terminator traveling through time", pose. With me eyes closed, I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my leg. It ruins the fantasy.
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Here is another personal story I feel I need to share with you. Sometimes in the shower I like to act like Luke Skywalker. I like to play out the scene where he's fighting Darth Vader with the light sabers except my penis is the saber's handle and a stream of piss is the yellow blade. I'll swing it back and forth, and I end up covering the shower in piss but I eventually win. One time I wanted to see what it felt like to have my hand cut off like Luke so I used my yellow blade and pissed on my arm. It didn't work.
its nite time now...and yes firefox, i see ur little red underline thing saying i spelled "nite" wrong...cant u see, its a new spelling of it...look it up. Its my language, copyright the republic of chaz...si si. The tacos r almost gone, or i should say the taco meat. have you ever eaten taco meat with a fork? its the strangest thing. all the meat falls over n shit...i prefer a spoon. much like rice, i cant stand eating rice with a fork. i need a spoon to scoop it up! and not those huge ass spoons...gimme a small spoon. those are much better for, i guess precision? yea thats the word...fucking words. dont they piss u off? i mean seriously, websters dictionary has "doh" listed in it...as a fucking word!!! so why cant people go around and say "fuck" without getting in trouble...its in the dictionary, its a term, etc. r.A.r.W.!! this makes chaz mad. yes. yes it does.in consideration for the "fuck" word ban, i will say this:
f.u.c.k.Thats right.u heard it.read it.lived it....
right here. right..umm, now? or here? plz msg me on which one it was. thx u.Suddenly this thing is beginning to hit me....repeatedly, like a mad man digging in the trash to find a brick. a brick to smash over the head of an elderly woman packing heat.I wonder how long i can keep writing this shit? its been 8 minutes since 1am...should i shoot for 1:30? it would really suck if i timed out on myspace and lost all this crap...$@#&*(!^$*&!@#^$ lol....
nah, i think i will hit crtl+a then crtl+c before i hit the post button.good god, am i really writing about myspace time-outs? what did we do before myspace?...ooooooooo i know...we went outside!! ha i remember...god damn sun. my legs were actually tanned instead of this pale-ice like texture.Wutever. the internet is good to me. it provides me with low quality streaming porn for free, with the occasional risk of virus infection to my hard drive. In which case, i will conveniently download pirated software to solve the problem. That would be bad ass if we could do that in real life...shit hits the fan, go download sum software to fix it!!...dooooood, ur in credit card debt, go to warez-bb. org and get u that new hack to rollback the account history!!...scary thing is thats probably really happening rite now lol. so if anyone knows this trick, plz let me know...oh shit!! that just reminded me, i thought i forgot this one magic card trick thing, cuz i couldnt do it (shut up foolz)...and now i think i remember wut i was doing wrong. I gotta lay the cards down in a row, not in a column. "doh"! yea, i said doh, wtf bitch.**break urself fool**
hrmmm....1:16, doubled my time. yea i think i can type sum stuff till 1:30. i mean, hell why not...if i didnt i would just be wasting time ro doing sumthing fucking stupid anyway. Might as well post something on this mind-sucking internet website keeping me from achieving a tan haha. but seriously, does itunes really need to play this song at this exact moment and time? i dont think so. Evil bastards! yes, plural, i insult all the apple company. They should all suck down retarded worms with tumors the size of an apple tree...too far?...i think not...not...not...not...not, stop that!! ahhhhhh!!
k.im better now.i think.or am i.hrmmmm.where r the pills.o thats right, i dont take pills.eh, fuck.fuck?...that sounds good.yes.yes it does.am i now having a conversation with an internet browser?
no shit.i think i have peaked.no you havnt...u have done far worse than this...remember the whole wall thing?
oh yea! i remember.i started talking to this wall one time, and drew all over it with paint, and markers.we had a good conversation. but for some reason, the wall kept moving around. I dont know why, well i kinda do. but not really. or i guess i dont wanna share it with the internet browser? yes. thats it. possibly. possibly. poss...eh, im typing that word again?. k. i think this is getting too much in my style. the style of the tire. thats right bitches. a fucking tire, luv the rubber...culo.there wuz balloons at discount tires today. noooooo, i didnt pop them, or take them home, or try to exchange them for a really really nice cherry picker. I just drove by them, like a natural mutant should. well, i see its now 1:28. about time to go post this before, well fuck, i dont know. 30 minutes writing is always good 4 me,...always good to spread the word, no matter wut it iz.
