John couldn't be reached for comment

About Me

This website is brought to you by John Elek. For those of you who don't know what that means: If you are offended by such words as: fuck, shit, bitch, pussy, cocksucker, motherfucker, asshole, pillow-biter, ass-licker, dickhead, asswipe, douchebag, fuckstain, dipshit, goddamn, etc, then you probably should have stopped reading this several words ago. If you are offended by jokes about necrophelia, dead cops, dead mothers, dead children, pretty much dead anything, then you probably shouldn't read my blogs either. In fact, come to think of it, if any of the above applies to you, then fuck you, you goddamn ass-licking pillow-biting, asswipe of a fuckstained douchebag piece of shit pussy bitch!.. Myspace Layout Generator-Layoutgen.com
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My Interests

Create your own friendquiz here

I'd like to meet:

Yo mama, fool..
SickFX.com

Music:

BLACK FLAG, The Circle Jerks, MISFITS, The Sex Pistols, The Ramones, Pennywise, Bad Religion, The Distillers, The Skeletones, The Deftones, Mr. Bungle, Faith No More, Dillinger Escape Plan, Helmet, Hatebreed, Slipknot, Agnostic Front, TOOL, A Perfect Circle, Mudvayne, Operation Ivy, Balzac, The Bouncing Souls, Danzig, Rollins Band, Dry Kill Logic, OTEP, Killswitch Engage, The Dead Kennedys, Dropkick Murphys, Sick of it All, White Zombie, A Life Once Lost, Becoming the Archetype, Fugazi, Anti-Flag, Fear Factory, As I Lay Dying, The Bouncing Souls, Pietasters, Budgie, G.G. Allin (Rest In Shit), Ill Nino, Children of Bodom, Bleeding Through, Himsa, Danzig, Union Made, The Boils, Crash and Burn, Mos Def, Madlib, MF Doom, Aesop Rock, Atmosphere, Jurassic 5, The Roots, P.O.S., Mac Lethal, Semi Official, RJD2, Blackalicious, Lamb of God, Trivium, God Forbid, PANTERA, Damageplan (R.I.P. Dime), In Flames, Unearth, Eyehategod, Slayer, Fuck Your Yankee Bluejeans (haHA), and the list goes on and on and on and on and on...

GZA lyrics

Movies:

The ever-expanding...http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?1=1338513 8

Television:

Look out don't block the screen, son, lunge across. I'm tryin' to watch Adult Swim - Aqua Teen Hunger Force!... UFC, 24, and any lowest-common-denominator show (Fear Factor, Celebrity Boxing...)http://www.saveourbluths.com

Books:

I burn books. No one likes an open mind.

My Blog

Whoops!

Forgot this Saturday is UFC 71 - Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell vs. Quinton "Rampage" Jackson! You know, where Rampage learns that sometimes it's best to just let the past stay in the past. An...
Posted by John couldn't be reached for comment on Mon, 21 May 2007 10:23:00 PST

As if they're necessary, more reasons for normal people to hate me

First things first - to the fucking scumbag shithole polesmoker who reported my Kakihara picture, I hope you enjoy your eternity of anal rape in hell. The picture is back up now, and so help me ...
Posted by John couldn't be reached for comment on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 09:45:00 PST

Enlightenment

Throughout the history of our world, many brilliant and talented people have made their mark. Every once in a great while, one of these people will possess such extraordinary intelligence that t...
Posted by John couldn't be reached for comment on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 12:47:00 PST

Synonymus Rex

The following are all various ways of responding, "Nothing" to the question, "So, what do you do?" (*Editor's note: this is a revised edition, since people complained. It is now late and I...
Posted by John couldn't be reached for comment on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 10:08:00 PST

Eat, drink, and be stupid

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Today is the day we celebrate Abraham Lincoln's victory over Pocahontas in the bloodiest battle Canada has ever seen. As we honor the eating of her organs by ...
Posted by John couldn't be reached for comment on Thu, 23 Nov 2006 08:35:00 PST

To my orange...

...I'm sorry that you were given the least imaginitive name of all the foods, I truly am. But, hey, at least you aren't a pee (sic). Can you imagine life for that poor bastard growing up?&...
Posted by John couldn't be reached for comment on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 02:11:00 PST

Unholy Living Dead Dating Service is finally here!!!

We here at the Unholy Living Dead Dating Service have long felt that human beings were foolishly limiting themselves in the dating arena by only being open to the living. With so many lonely brain-ea...
Posted by John couldn't be reached for comment on Tue, 13 Jun 2006 12:18:00 PST

Doogie Howser, M.D. - the lost journal entries

10/03 - Walked into the house today, heard strange noises upstairs. Cracked upstairs bedroom door, saw Vinnie raping my mom. Did nothing, because I am a pussy, and Vinnie can kick my ass.&...
Posted by John couldn't be reached for comment on Fri, 31 Mar 2006 04:09:00 PST

Haiku 3 With a Vengeance - Deleted scenes w/ Director commentary

CLIVE CLEMMONS INAPPROPRIATE RESPONSE CHANNEL It is not polite to ask a lady her age? Gut her - count the rings *** I felt really good about this scene, I felt it really provided a nice segue fro...
Posted by John couldn't be reached for comment on Tue, 14 Mar 2006 02:11:00 PST

Haiku 3 With a Vengeance

MORNING AFTER REMORSE This chick in my bed would probably be hotter without the penis. ODE TO MY GIRLFRIEND My girlfriend's the best. In bed she's the queen - at least that's what my friends say. FAIL...
Posted by John couldn't be reached for comment on Tue, 14 Mar 2006 06:00:00 PST