joaner profile picture

joaner

I'm pathetic. I know.

About Me

I will fully admit that I am a little self-absored. Most of my sentences start with "I". That being said... I would hate to think that all have managed to accomplish in my life so far is mastering Tetris and figuring out how to set my alarm clock. Unfortunately, it's true. I'm pretty sure I'm Jewish on the inside. I also might come off as racist because I make fun of Indian people and Filipino people alot... but it's OK! I'm both of those things.Most of the time I feel like the guy in this video...
I also like ice cream alot. I have read every Harry Potter book over 25 times *at least*. I am not fond of most animals but I can tolerate elephants. I did not have toys as a child so I find random shit amusing. I hate people who talk about subjects they don't fully understand, jump on politically correct/popular bandwagons and say they have *always* supported the environment/gun control/gay rights etc... stop being such a poser and just admit you want to sound smart or at least admit that you have limited knowledge. Me? I am full of limited knowledge. I hate people, children, rude people, passive aggressive people, FAT people, slow people, dumb people, loud people, and fake people.

My Interests

Food. dictionaries and globes. harry potter.

I'd like to meet:

Sufjan Stevens, Tina Fey, Harout, Joss Whedon, **Ewan McGregor** , Incubus (again!!)

Music:

Country sucks and I don't like hip hop.

Movies:

My blockbuster queue has over 200 movies. I love movies. I hate people who talk during movies (except Kristin). I also have no respect for people who list any sort of romantic comedy as their favorite movie.

Television:

Arrested Development... and Psych! I heart James Roday. Heroes. I HATE REALITY TELEVISION.

Books:

If there is one thing I love more than TV, it's books. I have more books than human friends.

Heroes:

People who tip at least 21 percent

My Blog

this is not working...

A raw food diet sounded good in theory. I like fruits. I like veggies (kind of). But good God, I forgot that above all else I love dairy, carbs, coffee, and refined sugar. I lasted a day and a half. I...
Posted by joaner on Sun, 16 Sep 2007 01:53:00 PST

dumb sluts

Now I realize that the stereotype of  shallow, airheaded, giggly sorority sisters is just that. A stereotype. I know a few sorority people who are actually smart, articulate, functioning and...
Posted by joaner on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 03:16:00 PST

one day...

I am not a very goal-oriented person. But there was one point in my life I did have some sort of ambition, sooooooooooo.... I have taken my list of Life Goals from Fourth Grade (see previous blog entr...
Posted by joaner on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 05:53:00 PST

Arrested Development

Woke up, brushed my teeth, and enjoyed my day off with an Arrested Development marathon of Seasons 1, 2, and 3. And if there truly was a God, Season 4 would have happened.  If anyone ever wants t...
Posted by joaner on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 01:50:00 PST

how to kill a spider

HOW TO KILL A SPIDER 1. Stare at it for 15 minutes, making sure it doesn't move or try to hide. 2. Slowly start reaching for some tissues keeping your eyes on the spider AT ALL TIMES 3. Grab the step ...
Posted by joaner on Mon, 28 Aug 2006 03:09:00 PST

rows and rows of teeth!!!

 I watched JAWS when I got home from work. **spoilers for JAWS**   The part where Brody is throwing that bloody crap into the ocean and the shark suddenly pops out of the water? I have...
Posted by joaner on Mon, 21 Aug 2006 04:16:00 PST

frustration

Life is wonderful? *I hate kids. I especially loathe FAT kids because there is honestly nothing that digusts me more. *I hate people *I hate being outside. I am a vampire. *I hate waiting in line. And...
Posted by joaner on Sat, 12 Aug 2006 06:44:00 PST

childish hopes crushed forever

Joan's Recenltly Discovered List of Childhood Ambitions (unearthed from the 2006 Great Purge of Useless Crap ) This was an old 4th grade assignment that I found. The List (circa 1994) copied...
Posted by joaner on Sat, 24 Jun 2006 03:20:00 PST

a long time ago, we used to be friends

 I officially hate the Disney Channel. When did it become ok to let people who can't sing have "music" videos featured 24/7 on a channel that millions of people watch? How is it possible that th...
Posted by joaner on Fri, 16 Jun 2006 01:15:00 PST

best week ever

WARNING: I've had a crappy week and it's time to rant. You are in no way obligated to suffer my self-absoption. I would love if I had a naturally friendly expression but I  just dont.  ...
Posted by joaner on Fri, 09 Jun 2006 11:14:00 PST