so lately i have been trying to be more proactive, especially when it comes to my career. i am a strong person and I know what i want, but i can get discouraged when those wants become difficult to attain. i have always been told that "there is no right way" but as a control freak, i still try and find one!!! taking risks is hard but there is nothing better than the feeling of going to that place and just trying, it doesn't hurt!!! i am starting to accept where i am in life and i now know that i am the one person who can change things if they're not going the way that i would like. it's not easy to sit back and say "what do i want?" my motto is "everything happens for a reason" but nothing will happen if you don't put yourself out there and make your presence known. i will try anything once, unless it involves raw fish...no thanks!!! i am a good listener and if you want an honest opinion, you got it!! i feel i can trust easily unless that trust gets broken; i don't hold grudges but i have a great memory. as i have learned the hard way, i can always remember the negative but forget the positive. why you ask? it's not that i'm a negative person, i just feel that if it's good, GREAT...but where's the work?? when something is not right or a little off center that gives you something to work on. yes you can always make something good, better...but i would much rather make something bad, great!!!! am i contradicting myself?? anyway, i like where i'm at right now...it's good to be struggling again. "ENJOY THE NOT KNOWING" is what i was told in college and ya know what, you have to, otherwise you will not be present in any moment you have...you'll be one step ahead or behind depending on how you look at it.
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