I'd like to meet:
..
..
..
..
..The Story. . .
Here is the Intrepid Crew of Team Wastoid. These individuals aspire to be wasted as much as can be. Whether it be canoing, or just getting drunk in the morning, or at the bar. Once in awhile. a member goes beyond the call of duty. Just getting too wasted that his or her feats are recognized as a fearless leader of the group. We call that fucked up individual CAPTAIN WASTOID. There are have been several Captains, always competing, always trying to out do each other to earn the drunken/prestigious rank. Fuck Child held the rank for years, being a true leader of the crew. However, Ultimate(Private Burnout) was skipped like a stone one fateful September in 2003 on the Sturgeon River. With the Teams uninaminous decision, for showing that drunken retardness can go to the next level, Ultimate became Captain Wastoid. He was able to hold the title until March of 2004, when three members of the team demoted him on charges of not drinking like a leader should be in Clear Water, Florida. Party Boy, Turtle, and M Canadian, filed the charges against him. In accordance with this demotion, Party Boy stepped up and took the helm. Private Burnout on the Pine River, October 2004 performed a retarded drunken act that earned his former title of Captain. He kayaked off a rather high and steep hill, into the cold river without falling in.. To bottom line it, we go canoing and get BALLS WASTED,living life like we stole it, and making mistakes with alcohol.
Fuck Child
Fuck Child is one of the most important and key members of Team Wastoid. Once Captain of Team Wastoid, Fuck Child was demoted on charges of not being wasted as a Captain should be.
Even though he has lost his rank, Fuck Child's past still makes him a valued member of Team Wastoid. Fuck Child has perfected the less then one second beer bong. In addition, he has the skill to bong two beers at once. And more important, bong two beer bongs at a given moment.Also, Fuck Child made history when he discovered how to time travel. This profound discovering allowed others to experience drunken temporal displacement. This lead to Private Burnout on his 22nd birthday to travel space-time. Keg and all! Using his leadership abilities, he has lead as well as represented Team Wastoid in the 2003 MSU Basketball riots. Leading us in the battlefield of East Lansing, fighting the War against Sobriety. There is a outstanding tribute to Fuck Child listed in blogs which lists is profound influence in the state of Michigan and elsewhere
.. src="http://polls.../Members/Polls/viewPoll.jsp?userID=72363
70&pollID=4429">.r{}..>
Party Boy
..
Party Boy's drinking rage is second to none. When PB fights the war against sobriety, shit gets digital and shit gets vandalized. When you hear beer bottles being smashed, or waves of destruction, Party Boy may be near by. Party Boy origins are one of chance. One day in highschool, Team member Turtle heard of a bad ass who through milk in the cafeteria, causing chaos and messes. Since then, well it all the rest is history. Its hard to highlight all of Party Boy's achievements as a wastoid as the list would be long and hilarious. One evening, He stayed up all night, getting wasted with Private Burnout, Rook, and Fuck Child. After vandalizing a house, he stayed up all night, and then continued to show up at work
BALLS WASTED And you would think that rampant destruction stops there? Hell No.
When Party Boy starts talking, people start fighting as seen evident at Tannery in Boyne Falls. I never seen someone get so pissed off, Jeb recounts. I remember Party Boy talking to some dude, and suddenly half the bar is in fight mode from his words. Since then, it is a well known fact that conversation with Party Boy usually starts erupting people getting pissed off and full out brawling. Also his disregard for anybody feelings is quite inhuman. As a former MSU student, his past actions in East Lansing speak for them self as well as his Highschool years. He just does not care about anything at all when drinking is involved. Skipping Private Burnout like a stone is proof of that. In MARCH 2004 party Boy was promoted to Captain Wastoid, agreeing to take the helm in accordance of Private Burnout not being Wasted enough. His attendance of Memorial weekends is outstanding. As with each year, he does something silly each year. From pissing everywhere, to the some what known "Drunk Dance/stumble".
Turtle
Turtles involvement of Team Wastoid is never ending and at best, legendary. As the founder of the Team, Turtle has set the standards of fighting the war against sobriety. He has gathered the finest drinkers around to fight the good fight. Taking apprentice under his guise, he trained Private Burnout to be the most ultimate Wastoid possible and was quite proud when he became Captain of the team. He also saw potential of Party Boy, as in his youth, used to throw milk cartons against the wall at school. He currently dates The Fist. In which you can read further about her. Turtle gets his name because he drives slow. He can be heard screaming songs out loud that nobody knows while he styles the deadly DEVILS LOCK to look pissed off or something. Looking totally 80's is "RAD" as his wardrobe can consist of anything. His favorite bars include The Keg, the Hideaway, and Mary's Tavern. Along with others, he thinks Tim's Pub is a shit hole. At The Keg, he shines his singing talents, refines them as he gets balls wasted. His involvement with the 2003 MSU riots and past events have lead him to be a legend by his own standards. During the night that "Team Wastoid got too wasted", he fractured relationships all around, as a day of drinking on the ski hill at Boyne causes such "Trainwreck" behaviors. Turtle can't stand Natural Ice and Pabst Blue Ribbon. If push came to shove, he would say fuck it, and drink NI and PBR anyway as with any kind of alcohol.Private Burnout Official Rank of CAPTAIN WASTOID
Official Rank of CAPTAIN WASTOID
..
Privite Burnout earned his rank of Captain of Team Wastoid in Setember of 2003 on a canoe trip. After drinking massive amounts of beer and what not, Ultimate was skipped like a stone by Party Boy in the Sturgeon River. Not wanting to go to work because of drinking tendencies, Private Burnout styled his hair, with whiskey, to avoid going to work. His manager gave him the day off. He returned to the campsite. Ready to drink and continue being balls wasted. Earning the prestige of Captain Wastoid! However, tragedy struck him in May of 2004. He was demoted because of not being wasted as a captain should be at the helm. As Party Boy was
Living Life like he stole it, he was promoted as temporary Captain. October 2004 Private Burnout performed a retarded drunken act that earned back his former title of Captain. He kayaked off a rather high and steep hill, into the cold river without falling in. There was a good chance he could of died wasted, but he made it though, with his drunken honor intact. With his continuing commitment to the team, and his Blood Alcohol Content level, he proclaimed a island on the Manistee river as Trav Isle. Private Burnout has many drinking talents, as he can say a "30 pack what?" , as drinking a 30 pack of beer is really nothing to him. Other abilities include escaping reality, as it helps him maintain his Captain Wastoid prestige. Snorting flaming alcohol off of a table is common enough. Although many try and challenge his title, Private Burnout continues to lead the team in victory on the river, and off the river with his mad stlye Karokeing at the Keg Bar.
Instant Asshole
As one of the core members of Team Wastoid, Instant Asshole's valor at drinking surprises us all. When this motherfucker gets fucked up,he becomes Instant Asshole, and the other members become Instant Babysitters in a sense. He gets so fucked up that we have to watch his every move, because of social interaction to his and other Team Wastoid personalities combined, we often get kicked out of bars. "Suck my dick!" as he once bellowed out at a bartender outside the establishment, while drinking a pitcher of beer. As to this day, he is never allowed back to the bar in Starvation Lake. Gasoline filled 40oz bottles, that shoot up flames 15 feet into the air are a specialty as well as SHIT Talking with everybody. Instant Asshole has a excellent rating at karoke, spinning a death metal screams on any song. He is the author behind the quote,
"Drink Don't Think" Instant Asshole has another alias, The not so Mysterious Drunk Driver. He often leaves parties, bars and such, with no warnings to his fellow patriots with a high Blood Alcohol Content. As a core member, Instant Asshole contributions have made us realize that you can't get more drunken retarded then him.
CLICK TO VIEW OTHER MEMBERS PROFILES
CLICK HERE FOR OTHER TEAM MEMBERS
