Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
A lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on.
Well, SOMEday I might even get around to telling you a bit about myself(Jason Burchell *cough cough*)... But until then I've decided to overload you with various media until the cows return to roost as they say... (THEY have a lot of 'splainin' to do, mixing those metaphors and all) Where was I? Oh, right... filling empty space with idle chatter... (or is it Idle space and Empty chatter?) See how good I've become at it in such a short time? Are you still reading? Just checkin', 'cause there are a lot more interesting myspaces out there you know... check back when I've got me scanner up and runnin'...
Jason wondered why he always disliked people who said "no offence meant". Maybe it was because they found it easier to say "no offence meant" than actually refrain from giving offence.
Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it's wrong. No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.
Never stand between two mirrors. Mirrors contain infinity. Infinity contains more things than you think. Everything, for a start. Including hunger.
Because there's a million billion images, but only one soul to go around.
Humans are always slightly lost. It's a basic characteristic. It explains a lot about them.
Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying "End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH," the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.
It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.
DANCE, Darn you!
'Witches just aren't like that,' said Magrat. 'We live in harmony with the great cycles of Nature, and do no harm to anyone, and it's wicked of them to say we don't. We ought to fill their bones with hot lead.'
It is in the desert and high places that religions are created. When men see nothing but bottomless infinity over their heads they have always had a driving and desperate urge to find someone to put in the way.
It would be a pretty good bet that the gods of a world like this probably do not play chess and indeed this is the case. In fact no gods anywhere play chess. They haven't got the imagination. Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religions is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.
Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed any more.
I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people. You are wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.
According to the philosophers, chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.
'Charity ain't giving people what you wants to give, it's giving people what they need to get.'
She'd always tried to face towards the light. She'd always tried to face towards the light. But the harder you stared into the brightness the harsher it burned into you until, at last, the temptation picked you up and bid you turn around to see how long, rich, strong and dark, streaming away behind you, your shadow had become...
He knew all about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where 'traditional values' meant 'hang someone'.
When people say "clearly" something, that means there's a huge crack in their argument and they know things aren't clear at all.
The ability to ask question like 'Where am I and who is the "I" that is asking?' is one of the things that distinguishes mankind from, say, cuttlefish.
One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.
Nothing has to be true for ever. Just for long enough, to tell you the truth.
Supposing there was justice for all, after all? For every unheeded beggar, every harsh word, every neglected duty, every slight... every choice... Because that was the point, wasn't it? You had to choose. You might be right, you might be wrong, but you had to choose, knowing that the rightness or wrongness might never be clear or even that you were deciding between two sorts of wrong, that there was no right anywhere. And always, always, you did it by yourself. You were the one there, on the edge, watching and listening. Never any tears, never any apology, never any regrets... You saved all that up in a way that could be used when needed...
Here are people who know that there is no steel, only the idea of steel.
Footnote: But they still use forks, or, at least, the idea of forks. There may, as the philosopher says, be no spoon, although this begs the question of why there is the idea of soup.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!'
The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: "Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear?" And the correct answer is: "Hey, whatever I select."
