I walk around with a little swagger in my step like I know something that you don't know, but it's actually just a little limp. I recently spent a bajillion dollars on a flat screen TV for my room, but I'm not exactly the television-watching type. I try my hardest to get the worst possible haircuts and then I whine about the results for days. If you were to ask me what it means to be best friends, I would say something like rubbing suntan lotion on your friend's hairy arm pit.
