Liz

Had a very happy childhood -left in a forest as a baby – found and raised by the tribe MacClumpet – taught to hew the coal & tattie howkin fae an early age – wis as happy as a pig in shite. Had a lively imaginary friend cawed Shuggie who had lots oh pals . Wis too poor to go to school so was taught at hame by the tribal wise woman – who even although wis deef dumb and blind managed to teach me the basic 6 R’s (Reedin, Ritting, Ruthmatic, Rinounciation, ) and wis top oh the dumbating class.Turned into a stunning beauty and was asked to wear the veil soes noo tae make other wummen so jealous and men throw themsels affe oh bridges at the pure sight oh me. Have a magnificent voice and hive been hired by Greenpeace on many occasion to sing to the whales tae ward them off shore. Wis telt is wis like a rutting bull whae laryngitis – no many kin say that noo.Had a mid life crisis in ma 20’s – which I’m still goin through & is pure dead brilliant. Met The Clan Wallace Band at Sunday school and went a wee dauner whae them last year tae Italy. They very kindly gave me a mass murder as ma aine security and learned how tae strip doon and build up a killnashlicought! (big gun whae danglie bits ) in three mins flat - kin also jump start a tank. A very informative journey!. Guid peoples who are completely aff their tree & hive a brilliant stage show tae boot – yeh wid be mad no tae go and see them when they are playing + brill DVD & CD’s buy them !! – they know where you live.