Hammer Presley a/k/a The Bard of MySpace

About Me

I'm just like Good Will Hunting: "wicked smaht" with a penchant for scrapping when intellect and diplomacy ain't working...

I'm the guy in a group discussion to use words that you may need a dictionary or thesaurus to understand, and then couple that word with "f*cking" or "c*cksucking" like I'm straight outta Deadwood (i.e., "We've mired ourselves in a c*cksucking conundrum here, haven't we?").

I'm tired of boring people, a**holes in general, or people who are too caught up in who the f*ck they think they are. You're not too beautiful/important/interesting/busy/smart/"cool"/or whatever to return a simple f*cking e-mail!! Let's everyone get over ourselves, already!

Otherwise, I'm sharp as a tack, cute as a button, fit as a fiddle, hung like a pimple, and cool as a cucumber. I couldn't think of any more descriptive analogies, so we'll leave it at that.... did you catch the 'hung like a pimple' thing?

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

I've been accused by many as being a MySpace 'Girl Collector' and, to a certain extent, this is 100% accurate. I've always been a sucker for a pretty face and a nice bod... I guess that's the screaming heterosexual in me.... but I am still extraordinarily discriminating, mostly because I've seen enough pretty faces and big boobies to know that true sexiness comes from the mind... dazzle me not only with your cleavage, but with your acumen!!

Moreover, you'll note that there are not 10,000,000,000,000 beautiful women in my "Friends" list, nor are all of them either hetero or eligible... I simply love a hotty like the next guy, yet they need a certain je ne sais qua to pique my interest.... here's a good test: if you didn't know that 'pique' is spelled like this, then you're probably in the wrong place.

And, honestly, I'm not that big a language prude or the grammar (not 'grammer', as good Rosie has pointed out) Gestapo. I just think we should all speak the English language that we've agreed upon. You see, I'm not the grammar police, 'cause I just ended a sentence in a preposition! =)

My Blog

If you know this singer, you're good.

Always and forever is forever young Your shadow on the pavement The dark side of the sun Gotta dream the dream all over And sleep here tight You dont wanna sing the blues In black and white ...
Posted by on Wed, 24 Nov 2004 07:28:00 GMT

More DMB (name title and album and win a prize!)

So here we are tonight You and me together The storm outside, the fire is bright And in your eyes I see What's on my mind You've got me wild Turned around inside And then desire, see, is creepi...
Posted by on Wed, 06 Oct 2004 06:39:00 GMT

Crash

You've got your ballyou've got your chaintied to me tight tie me up againwho's got their clawsin you my friendInto your heart I'll beat againSweet like candy to my soulSweet you rockand sweet you roll...
Posted by on Mon, 04 Oct 2004 07:34:00 GMT

Lightning...

...sometimes it just strikes without warning. Catch it in a bottle (an empty Corona bottle, to be exact) if you can!
Posted by on Thu, 30 Sep 2004 17:11:00 GMT

If you really want to get to know me, Dante-style....

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!Here is how you matched up against all the levels:LevelScorePurgatory (Repenting Believers)Very LowLevel 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-B...
Posted by on Wed, 25 Aug 2004 17:19:00 GMT

My ass in the shower.

Only a 7.4 on 40 votes? I never thought I'd actually be absorbed by the 'dog and pony show' that is the MySpace voting process... but a 7.4? Jesus. And that's truly my best side. Depressing.
Posted by on Wed, 25 Aug 2004 08:55:00 GMT

The great purge.

Rosie's accusation of me being a 'girl collector' inspired me to purge my 'friends' list of those otherwise attractive types that don't speak to me... for the most part, many of them couldn't speak at...
Posted by on Wed, 18 Aug 2004 08:17:00 GMT

Interesting situations...

I'm learning more and more that keeping all options open at all times will certainly lead to the development of incredibly interesting situations.... I know, that sounds pretty fundamental, but it's a...
Posted by on Fri, 13 Aug 2004 08:41:00 GMT