Heart Struck </3 profile picture

Heart Struck &lt;/3

I am here for Friends

About Me


My name is Chris, or Kit depending on the person,
and where you're from. My friends, if you know any of
them( I just moved from PA 9 months back) will tell you that
I'm an Idealistic hopeless romantic, with his head
stuck in fantasies or the next big world Problem that I may
decide is the cause for everyones pain. Well my friend
would be wrong, because I havn't seen them in 9 months
and things have changed. I had alot of growing up to do
real fast when I was thrown down here out of my Junior
year of high school. I Not only lost almost everything
I owned, my friends, my family, and even every penny I
worked so hard to save upwhile saporting myself in
school. But learned a whole lot of very dark and hard
things about my family, the gay culture, definetly love,
and even the way I view randum people in the croud. I
cruised the clubs for a while, thought they were the
shit. Learned the hard way that half the people in this
area (especially in the clubs) ONLY want to ---- you at
"Hello^_^". That beautiful people are alot of the time
quite ugly. Ugly people alot of the time are quite
beautiful. I learned That I cant relly on anyone to take
care of me but me. Especially with having no parents.
And that people need to learn to see the wonderfull
things that they have going for them. PEOPLE DIE , we
ALL loose things, family, LOVE, money. But if you spend
to much time Rubber Necking at the last Heart break or
hurt in your past, You'll get hit by the next car you
didn't see sneaking up on you and you'll have never have
had the time to exsperience your life. Regret only leaves
room for more regret. I know. I was WAY TO SLOW at
getting on the ball and living my life.

My Japanese name is Hidetora Idane.
Take The Kawaii Japanese Name Generator by Shuichigami today!
Created with Rum and Monkey 's Name Generator Generator .


You Are 100% SCORPIO
When Christopher was born, the Sun was in the Sign
Scorpio, the Psychoanalyst.Your
sign is the sign of transformation.
-your lucky colors are chrimson(the color of
passion) and black(the color of power)
-your metal is platonium(-----ah its
radioactive!!) Unlike other
signs you have three, yes three, symbols; 1) an
eagle,which soars high, is proud, and very
protective. 2) a magical phoenix, with the
ability of rebirth(through the greatest
challenges of life). 3) and finally a scorpion,
whose fierce loyalty makes a great firend and
sekks revenge when betrayed!! The scorpion also
symbolizes self-defense and self-protection! You think
very deeply, and people usualy don't know the
real "you". For Christopher, relating is
a matter of primary importance, to be conducted with
gut-wrenching intensity. Forget about merely getting
under the partner's skin, Christopher wants to go
bone-deep. Soul-deep, and he needs to be known just as
profoundly in turn. He is determined, protective, focused, brilliant, self-sufficent,
magnetic, brave, unbreakable, open-minded,
loyal, strong, and sensitive!! At best, Christopher offers probing
honesty and an astonishing capacity for tenderness. At
worst, life with him can resemble living with a cross
between a laser beam and a can opener, neither of which
will take "no" for an answer. Christopher should learn
to ask for no more self-revelation than he will give,
and allow the partner to open up at his or her own pace.
That accomplished, Christopher's capacity for a bond of
incredible depth and passion is virtually limitless.
Christopher is not looking for a partner, or even a
lover. He's looking for His Soul Mate.
" It can take months to learn something, but It only
takes a HeArTbEaT to ChAnGe"
Quote By Chris Kurtz

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

This has changed. Some people are going to say
"awwwww man!!" Because I always got so many letters about how
sweat the last one was I wrote.
Well, things and people change. I could care less if I
find love on here, because I'll find him someday, and
for once I'm perfectly content with myself.
When I do find him though. I kind of see him as completing
me. Not having everything in common or having any
special features. We'll more likely compliment each
other. He'll probably have done all the things I wish I
had accomplished in life and have all the things and
family in his life that I've never had, And I'll have
all the stuff he never did. So in getting to know each
other and our lives, in a way, we'll have lived our
dreams. Then we could carry out any of the other things
we've both missed out of life together. Because falling
in love with someone is loving them for not only what
makes them beautiful, but also for there faults, dramas,
and historiesthat make them the Perfect person that
they are. Mostly though, I just look forward to staying home
and falling asleep on a cold night, at my farm house, in
the arms of probably one of the only people I'll ever
come to fully trust in my life. With the quiet
insistentdrone of some high pitched anime character in
the background Which would only be muffled by the snore
of my lover and the comforting sound of his heartbeat in
my ear.

HERE IS THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU ABOUT LOVE:
Don't ever get used to the kindness, random beauties,
compassion, beautiful smile, and love of the person
that holds your heart or your moments together. Because if
You do, they could leave. You'll never realizeit in
time. And then......memories of those Random beauties,
will be all you'll have left to remember them with.

"As the petal sips love from a blinding saint,
he told me of a place. I would fit with a smile,
in my bed of his pupil, and his lips would nurse
the scars on my front of those before him."

..

**The Last Goodbye**

I put on your clothes
for just one more time.
Finding it strange that
there not mixed with mine.
I Embrace the fabric
like something so dear
to mimic the feeling
of holding you near.
Clinging to them
I wipe off a tear.
for after so long
your sent is still clear.
These few days alone
have been hard without you.
No Lover on speed Dial
to help see me through.
Tomorrow you'll take them
And well just part ways,
and I'll hope for your phone call
for the rest of my Days.
And we'll talk after that,
but it wont be the same,
because being your baby
was more than a name.
For the Rest of time
what I won't get to say,
Is how much I've missed you
for the rest of my days.
And how much I love you
In hundreds of ways.

By Chris Kurtz

**Damned**
why can't anyone
love my broken heart?
Am I such a foul thing,
damned from the start?
To never know the love of man.
To never take his hand.
To be hated by the ones I love
like who i am was planned!
It must be true that god hates me,
Like they always say.
Cause If I'm truly in his heart
than wouldn't just one stay?
It's hard to show who I am
for all their eyes to see.
When even the lord says its wrong
for me to be happy.
So I will be damned for my love,
but it will all be in vain.
Because even the dammed don't love me,
and leave me here in pain.
For if it's wrong then I am damned,
and soon will fall to hell.
but while I'm here, I'll be alone,
because my heart has already fell...

By Chris Kurtz

**I've never...***
I've never seen my wounded heart,
I've never seen my saddening soul.
Yet I know my heart still bleeds
and that it is not whole.

I've never spoke with Romeo,
Nor visited his love.
Yet certain am I of his tragic heart
as if a fallen dove.

I've never felt true loves first kiss,
or met the one for me.
Yet true it is he waits out there
for all there eyes to see.

I'm always told that I am wrong,
and that my love if false.
Yet I know his love is right for me
from my quickening pulse.

By Chris Kurtz

***Defeated***
deep in my heart
the ground quakes
my flesh rattles
and my soul brakes.
The pieces of my soul
cut me as they fall
slicing all that makes me
tearing at my walls.
Everything I hoped for
now is shattered,
And the one belief that kept me going
lies on the dirt in tatters.
My morals are being tainted
and I'm sinking in the mud.
Its flowing threw my open wounds
and mixing with my blood.
Defeated I just lay here,
dirty to the vein.
There's nothing left here of me,
all that I was is slain.

By Chris Kurtz

****tainted dove***
Through the dark My heart takes flight
A dove in feathers of tainted white
Imperfect to all who see this sight
flying from darkness in pain and fright
upon it's breast true love it bleeds
upon its blood the others feed
he doesn't fallow were the others lead
It's bleeding heart is all it needs
They're all repulsed by its site
What he is they say is not right
holding back tears with all its might
It flies away instead of fight
so all alone it must soar
and as it's tears begin to pour
searching for the promised shore
where shadows death no longer lure
but one more time through the darkness it calls
as through the shadows it slowly falls
thinking its last breath soon draws
knowing that silence was it's cause
still hoping for the love it seeks
as final drop of blood it leaks
now the darkness draws it near
quivering one last time in fear
the call of love it never hears
because first it drowns upon it's tears

By Chris Kurtz

My Blog

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I've had three friends bring this poem to my attention from this book. I've never read it but my friend have told me it reminds them of me(after saying don't take offence first) One of my best friends...
Posted by on Sat, 05 Aug 2006 02:24:00 GMT

A long time in the making

I'm realy drunk so forgive me if any of this is blunt,but this is something a long time in the making.I guess I really just don't don't understand this placeI sit here crying again over someone who do...
Posted by on Sat, 29 Jul 2006 04:12:00 GMT

Fuck all...

Fuck all of this.                               It's time for a cha...
Posted by on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 15:03:00 GMT

The piont to all this

          So here's my Ishue.          Why? Why are all gay men sluts? Why are all gay men shady? Or Jaded?   Wha...
Posted by on Wed, 17 May 2006 13:41:00 GMT

Home is where the heart is -_-

So. It looks like this story comes to an end.... My mom sat me down when I got home from work. I spent mabey 20 minutes at home today, yesterday....mabey an hour...all week?...mabey 6. So she sits me ...
Posted by on Tue, 28 Mar 2006 23:45:00 GMT

***** Seven Bridges Road*****

I Finally found the conection I was looking for with my Mom for the past ten months last night. (Four weeks before she's kicking me out) She was sitting in my Step Dads office listening to t...
Posted by on Fri, 17 Feb 2006 12:13:00 GMT

**All I want**

You know what I REALY want? What I ACTUALLY want more than ANYTHING on this earth? Is Stability.  I wanna KNOW something! Not just anything.   ONE thing.  That I'm loved. I wanna k...
Posted by on Mon, 13 Feb 2006 11:49:00 GMT

I should be so past this....

I'm so sick of being here. I should be way past this by now... And I figure just about everyone and there grandma is rocken out to this on there myspace, sayin the same thing I am but... Damn... I rea...
Posted by on Mon, 06 Feb 2006 11:53:00 GMT

New Poem: **The last goodbye**

This is the newest poem I've writen and its still over 3 months old... but its the only time were I've felt enough passion about a certain feeling in a while to write one. This was originaly for someo...
Posted by on Sat, 04 Feb 2006 10:47:00 GMT

Broken

I don't wanna be here anymore... I don't know what to do anymore.... I don't know how to feel anymore.... It's like I wanna write on here REALY BAD. Just to get all these feelings out...But i just don...
Posted by on Thu, 02 Feb 2006 11:28:00 GMT