The Ogre profile picture

The Ogre

What Would A Pirate Do?

About Me

I'm a Leo who really enjoys long walks on the beach and hand grenades. My turn-offs include low body counts and enpty magazines. I spend the majority of my time traveling to far off distant lands, meeting people of unique and ancient cultures and then killing them. When I’m not off war mongering, I enjoy watching infomercials, training for my next raiding trip and sun bathing. I’m a very spiritual person; I worship the Viking God of War Oden. I find that He puts far less religious restraints upon me than the more conventional mainstream deities. I have absolutely no morals, I prefer standards. I feel that morals are just too damn restrictive. Besides, having just standards has kept me out of trouble much better than some arbitrarily imposed set of religious based morals. Call me the Bad American if you want, but I see nothing wrong with loud gas guzzling trucks, high capacity magazines and military style assault rifles. I believe that if you enter this country illegally, you should be launched by catapult back across the boarder that you illegally entered. You want immigration reform? I got your reform right here. I don’t like protesters! They are all just a bunch of pansy ass cry babies! Don’t get me wrong, it’s your God given right to be pissed off about the things your government does. But DO something about it, and I don’t mean going into the streets and crying about it! Crying is for the weak and the weak shall be eaten!
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My Interests

I enjoy hitting & kicking things, people, and pets. High calibre firearms are always fun as along as I'm in a target rich environment. An ample supply of high explosives is always a good thing too!

I'd like to meet:

I’d really like to have a nice little sit down with Gandhi, the Dali Lama, the Secretary of the Treasury and Osama Bin Laden. First, I’d smack the living piss out of Gandhi and the Dali Lama and tell them both to knock off the nonviolence pacifist crap! Then I’d smack the piss out of the Secretary of the Treasury and tell him to leave my F#&$ing money alone! And for Osama, well I’d feed him 10 pounds of bacon at gun point. Then I’d blow his brains all over Gandhi and the Dali Lama, just so they get my point about the pacifist crap. After that, I’d turn in his carcass for the reward and throw a party.

Music:

I enjoy music that causes headaches. If the music causes you pain, chances are that I like it. If you are bleeding from your eyes, ears and nose, then I'm really having fun!

Television:

I only watch infomercials. That's it. Nothing but infomercials. I am the proud owner of four different home gyms, the magic bullet, the Jack LaLanne Power Juicer and a 20 disc collection of the World's worst love songs.

Heroes:

The Ogre has no heroes. The Ogre is a hero, He's your hero! There are no others!

My Blog

FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THE OGRE

Many of you have heard about the Chuck Norris 'fact generator'. Well, Chuck Norris is a pansy so I gave that generator two taps to the chest with my glock so now it only generates facts about me. Here...
Posted by The Ogre on Tue, 06 Jun 2006 12:36:00 PST