I am a perpetually cheerful college student who carries my mother’s middle name, and hail from Falls Church, Virginia, where my father was a carpet master. A graduate of J.E.B. Stuart High School, I have as my best friend my mother, to whom I credit my persistent optimism, since she taught me that no matter how bad  things seem, there is always someone else having a worse day, "like being stung by a bee or getting a splinter or being chained to a wall in someone's sex dungeon."Â
I am in my early twenties (21 years old to be exact), and sometimes speak with a distinctly southern accent. An awkward yet polite rube, I am always smiling, excited and happy to do menial tasks which many people don’t understand. I have explained on two separate occasions that this is because I love Spongebob so much. My love of Spongebob and my undying devotion to pursuing happiness are two of my most defining character traits. I also named my imaginary pet falcon Gary, after Spongebob’s pet snail.
I am generally well-liked around the world, but have a determined nemesis in Cap’n Crunch , who forced me to go through a humiliating series of inquiries and collections to get a cereal box toy, and worked overtime to subvert my appreciation of milk and cereal by giving me a bowl of the soggies on numerous occasions. In the present day, me and Cap’n Crunch are friends who have an acclaimed breakfast morning snack of dry Peanut butter Crunch.
As seen in many old photo albums, I have a considerably less friendly and more violent alter-ego named Selina Kyle living in Gotham City.
My character is rather childish at times and it is even hinted that I might even be twelve, though on Isaac Haye’s Birthday last year I was filmed at a "Grown-up" party with a cake and twenty one candles thrown in my honor.
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