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shameless

shoot for the moon... if you miss you're still amongst them stars

About Me

As of now my life is amazing... I've found the one who has changed my life... I've now joined an institution to which it's members are the only ones who know what true unconditional love means... My wife is my lover and my best friend... My stability and guidence... With her I am whole...On May 5th 2007 I married my best friend... Come late November early December I'll be a daddy!!!I love you Quinn... Forever and always!Like change in your pocket, shifting and making noise from inside the deep stitched cloth. Always at your side, always letting you know that they are there. Some only worth a penny and others shine of golden dollar emotions that epitomize the way pieces fall apart and come back together. When the wires are cut off and you're left in the dark, without communication or explanation for the reasons why. Things fall apart, they get shredded and torn. Debris and blood fall around you, all your dreams and hope falter and shatter on the floor. It's too late to pick up the parts, just move on. Remember that you are in control of your life and how you take things is all up to you.People over look the real meaning behind words. The real feeling behind trust, they treat it as a game laid out for them to take advantage and replace what they desire. All people desire something, even if nothing is something that they desire. They want nothing to change. Then isolation becomes the key, the word behind all meaning of their life. A small piece of them hidden from display. People misuse words with real meaning behind them. They abuse them like broken unwanted toys, like love and hate. Using them without really understanding whats behind it. I'm sick of people like that, who lack the ability to understand and recreate desire and feelings. These people become pathological liars and never get around to collecting trust that's needed oh, so much to really feel. To be real, to be everything you wanted without paying for a damn thing.When you alter yourself to find what you want. Whether it be happiness, love, or attention. Slowly you will understand that because you altered yourself you also altered your real feelings behind what you wanted and now you're back where you started. In the dark, alone and cold, more than ever before. You don't need to change who you are to find what you want.Now let me tell you something about me. I'm not lost, nor am I found. I'm not one for desire but I fiend for a name. Something no one but those few will understand. I will never have what I want, I will be happy. I am still not stable, but far from falling. I'm still dreaming and still wide awake. Bound by love and endless hate. Someday you'll look into the static screen of reasoning and see all what will happen and why. I know what's real, I know what can happen. And I know what I can make happen.I judge you because I expect you to judge me and feed me your lies. Just so I can turn around on you and cut your throat and keep walking. You won't stop me from becoming, Me.
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Music:

Sometimes I think it helps To turn the volume up to that point. To where if you were to lye down. In a place, you call safe. To think. The music would act as though. It were a gentle breeze. or a tidal wave. A gentle hug from one you know. Or to the point that it floods your body. To the top. Until all you are. Is music.

Movies:

true romance
..The candle sits there unknown in the dark, It remains there lonely, it has no heart. It has no use; it's nothing at the start, It bursts into life when it sees the spark. It fills the room with its subtle glow, It gives us the warmth that many of us know. We don't know how long it's going to burn, Only through experience we are able to learn. It can warm a room, flicker and churn, It can't think or know what's around every turn. The first time we see it, it comes as a surprise, It is amazing to have, it changes our lives. For without it, our lives remain black, We become lost, and find it's hard to get back. It needs some important things to stay alit, For without these things its brightness begins to dip. You can carry it with you wherever you go, The longer you leave; it burns weaker, that we know. Some people find it hard to light, They finally found out how, and work hard to get it right. It makes it easier to sleep in the cold, winter nights, Because you can feel its presence and knows its alright. Everyone needs it in his or her life, without a doubt, It has a strong blaze; it's hard to start, but even harder to put out. It may just sit there and may have no meaning to you, But when you discover the magic, you'll know its true. It is interpreted differently whomever it meets, It may be just a candle to you and remains discreet. Or it may just have a greater meaning to you, You see its dark side and you understand what it can do. It's wrong in saying that there's better ways, For nothing can beat it, there's nothing you can say. You may not want it, your sick of its inconvenience, You've seen it before, it burnt, and you haven't used it since. The people who can control it are happy in life, They have beautiful children and are husband and wife. You see it may look simple, but yet it's very complex, Nobody can explain it, or decipher it just yet. But it is known that once you've experienced it once, It may never turn black; it may burn like the sun. I know that it may sound perfect, because it is always there, But you'll have to keep it alight, for the dark is feared. A candle sits there burning apart, One thing's for sure it now has heart. You may only need one or you may need four, One day you'll see the light and you won't need it any more. Cause you are no longer scared, or fear the dark, Because you have found what you've been looking for from the start. The little candle is useless now that you're not alone, You have, what you wanted, it's no longer cold as a stone. When your children go to sleep at night, You'll leave them a match and a candle to light. You will remember all the candles you have burnt, They stay with you forever around every turn. You don't need candles any more you're as free as a new born dove, You need no light to shine the way; you have something greater, It's a little thing called love.

Television:

I used to find this eerie quiet so soothing From lack of tepid, tranquil and cool calm Here and now, it no longer gratifies me The quiet seems a disguise for long forgotten fear This feeling of uneasy stems a flow of pride Against these monstrous waves, I find myself lost The disquietude I once forsook, is my only companion We turn to one another, our eyelids sewn shut And my eyes see in the dark that which is hidden in the light.The Pages turn swiftly, cutting my battered hands Their menacing crooked smile haunts me to the core The ghosts from the closet seep beneath the bottom of a door The monsters beneath the bed approach to take my life The gnomes in my shoes have come to butcher my toes to pieces In this absence of light, imaginary monsters all seem so real Shadows make stalkers come to slit my precious throat Heartbeats jump to a rapid throbbing sensation. My eyes see in the dark that which is hidden in the light.I want to scream, like a coward, for help This panic quiets my already weak voice to a low rasp The seconds tick by as long as lifetimes Every minute trapped in this dark frightens me to exhaustion Each second alone no longer helps my broken spirit Infested with my own damnation of isolation I become a martyr to my own feelings of self-pity The pillows hide me, hide my inequalities My eyes see in the dark that which is hidden in the light.Bleed me, we’ll see how this current of vitality flows The color of my blood is unsure and vague, green, blue or red? Living in a world vacant of desirous, warm, bright sunshine A blanket of deep nothing is a part of my sole being My heart twists over every insignificant detail of this gloom Inside my hand-made cage of rust and dank scent Flows a rank air of owned obvious, crippling insecurity The bars rattle, the dark dissipates, so this is how it ends My eyes see in the dark only hidden light.

Books:

Wake me up when this dream is over, Bring me back to harsh reality, When this faultless idea of perfection escapes, Tell me the hurtful truths, But let me have this moment, Let me dream a little longer, Let me feel your hot breath on my neck, One more time, Your hand in mine, Love so strong it lifts the soul, Just let me have this short space of time, So I can keep this one memory safe forever, Don’t bring me back to this destructive world just yet, A short while longer… A little more time, To be astonished by what stands in front of me, To hold perfection so close to me, To know for sure that you are everything, Everything that I ever wanted, Let me dream this wonderful dream a little longer, Don’t wake me just yet, Don’t let this vicious world drag me back, Not yet, Just a little longer… Not yet…

Heroes:

My Brother is my hero -

My Blog

just cause i miss good real music

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Posted by shameless on Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:27:00 PST

Mister Cellophane Chicago Nights

Mister CellophaneIf someone stood up in a crowd And raised his voice up way out loud And waved his arm And shook his leg You'd notice him If someone in a movie show Yelled "fired in the second row, Th...
Posted by shameless on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 12:12:00 PST

blank words

Baby Steps and Blank Words Gone unread by those who should read them the most   Pick me up in passing; you walk away wondering why you always see me clumsily stumbling tangled in the threads of...
Posted by shameless on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 03:08:00 PST

For Her .2

Words&..the physical manifestation ofsomething completely untouchable:a feeling that a thousand languages havetried to describe andfailed to reach thelowest heights.Words like desire, passion, ecstasy...
Posted by shameless on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 12:59:00 PST

You Saved Me.... wish I wrote it

"You Save Me"Every now and then I get a little lostMy strings all get tangled, my wires all get crossedEvery now and then I'm right up on the edgeDangling my toes out over the ledgeI just thank God yo...
Posted by shameless on Tue, 24 Oct 2006 01:53:00 PST

For Her

The dying day paints a portrait of sadnessUpon this lonely home town tearHave I found a home, in this prison of my own?Trapped on the borderline?But there she is,Walking a borderline of her ownis she ...
Posted by shameless on Tue, 15 Aug 2006 12:29:00 PST

Roses and Scar Tissue

Rally to my forgotten rooms and I will set you down amidst the petals of a thousand roses,Listen as I touch you its the only way for you to know this,I cant tell you now, just lay back and I will mak...
Posted by shameless on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 08:38:00 PST

Lyrics that about sum it up

Hey, what's happenin'?It's been a minute, huh? I'm just hollerin'How you doin?It's been a minute since I seen ya,I fell off for the scene,Cuz it seem like you wanted other things than the king,Why yo...
Posted by shameless on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 05:48:00 PST

exodus

The streets have been dusted with ten thousand tiny icicles, each glittering as I glide by. I wrap my coat around me tightly, watching the white fog of my breath make a trail in front of me. face num...
Posted by shameless on Thu, 30 Mar 2006 11:26:00 PST

Running

Running out of timerunning out of room to breathecan't make up my mindcan't escapecan't get awayso alone herebut so crowdedthey won't leave me beI won't leave me beI scream so loud andI don't expect ...
Posted by shameless on Sun, 19 Mar 2006 08:14:00 PST