DAVIO profile picture

DAVIO

I am here for Friends

About Me

The meaning of life is to make as many people happy as possible while minimizing the amount of people you make unhappy and maintaining your own happiness.
If all people would work to achieve this balance this world would be a utopia.
Also I really really love ranch dressing... on pretty much everything. Oh yes, I mean THAT kind of everything.
I do not tollerate spelling errors.
People like me like people like me.
There is a time and a place for everything... except square dancing.
Stop wasting your time on MySpace and do something for charity.
Just laugh and it will be ok eventually.
I've been eating waaaaay too much White Castle lately.
A bird in the bush is worth two in the hand.
I have a half-track mind.
I attribute 80% of my success to my sense of humor and 25% to my superior math skills.
I finished a joke.
I am everything that you are afraid to admit you want.
I take my women like my coffee: Hot and in my lap.
There is a fine line between eye contact and the cold hard stare of a psychopath.
If you swing your stick in a garden long enough, eventually you will hit bush.
Before you build a mansion, you must first lay the foundation.
Perforated at the neck.
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

The crazed and the dazed. The well-read and the misled. The heroes and the zeroes. The day dreamers and the truth screamers. The booze drinkers and the deep thinkers. The tired and huddled unwashed masses. Anyone who enjoys Queen and/or Futurama.

My Blog

Does anyone remember this epidemic? What ever happened to...

Now, my problem is i couldn't find the video for the wisk commercial I really wanted. I feel like it's a guy and his sister in his new apartment. The ...
Posted by on Mon, 24 Nov 2008 21:49:00 GMT

Ring a Ding Ding

Wow I didn't realize how long it's been since I blogged. Well as many of you know I bought a house at the end of this past July. Things are going well with that. My friend Scott who many of you also k...
Posted by on Fri, 31 Oct 2008 19:44:00 GMT

Party

SCPD CSI: "Jeez! You got someone coming to clean all this up?"Me: "How much do you guys make an hour?"
Posted by on Sun, 24 Aug 2008 17:31:00 GMT

Atkins

June 9th 2008 3:40PM Alright kids, this is it. For the first time in my life I've weighed in at over two hundred pounds. I've become a fat slob and need to do something about it. I'm gonna hit the ...
Posted by on Mon, 09 Jun 2008 12:44:00 GMT

Jackie Collins and the Giraffe of Love (or something like that)

  So last night I went to Napper Tandy's at Miller Place. It was open mic night. A few performers got on stage and did their acoustical nonsense. After about 3 hours of beers and shots me and ...
Posted by on Tue, 20 May 2008 21:46:00 GMT

My Blind Date

Ok, folks! Strap yourselves in for a goodie! So in the absence of any intelligent alternatives, I, like most people it seems have resorted to varios online dating sites to "expand" my horizons on pote...
Posted by on Tue, 13 May 2008 20:27:00 GMT

Very PC

This guy I work with religiously orders Chinese food every Monday from the same restaurant. Yesterday at lunchtime he called to place his order. He didn't speak, but just listened to the receiver. Wit...
Posted by on Tue, 06 May 2008 11:20:00 GMT

The whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

    So I went to the dentist on Saturday morning for a routine checkup and cleaning. After the hygienist had her way with me the Dentist came in and asked me how I was feeling.   Me...
Posted by on Mon, 05 May 2008 12:11:00 GMT

Outsourcing

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline. Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Posted by on Fri, 02 May 2008 07:18:00 GMT

Blue’s Clues (and Cows)

As many of you know, early on in my career in "show business" I worked for MTV. (Ever hear of it?) During my tenure at the globe's biggest broadcaster of horseshit I also worked part time on my days o...
Posted by on Thu, 01 May 2008 14:31:00 GMT