A drinking buddy. Discovering alcoholics are OK, just don't to get maudlin and broody then pick fights with strangers and expect me to come to the rescue, as I will invoke my Swiss Citizenship and lay claim to neutrality. My idea of chivalry consists of letting you know this up front... A partner in crime, preferably one with her own bail money. Sidekicks need not apply. By all means please feel free to try and captivate my short attention span with your warmth, charm, and wit. Or your shy withdrawn geekiness. It's all good. Bonus points for knowing how to put out a burning palm tree while doubled over with laughter. Not that I'm a Pyro or anything, but in the unlikely event it should ever happen again, some backup would be nice...