F.U.K.D and B.O.M.B.D.

To be honest, I'm a completely humourless individual. I never laugh, rarely smile and never (ever) get the punchline. In fact, I've been the subject of numerous documentaries on TV (you may have seen me on "The Least Funny Man in the World" that was broadcast on Gold UKTV+ Reality Special Channel last month (or for those of us poor unfortunates without Sky, in the window of Currys without any sound (Which is where I tend to spend most mornings, staring at the moving pictures and trying to lipread))).

When I'm not being as interesting as a pile of woodshavings that have just been dumped into a recycling bin, I tend to spend most of my time reading magazines about crochet while running my finger over the page so as not to lose my place, while moving my lips to make sure I understand what I'm reading. Crochet is the core of my life, and I love to make socks out of green and purple wool, then give them to people that I like.