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"If you wait too long for the perfect moment
the perfect moment will pass you by."
I think it's about time for an update, don't you?
I'm on a wild ride. It's Intense, insane, stupid, challenging, difficult, exhilarating, discouraging, demanding, painful, full of joy and not for a second boring.
There are limits on our persons that we learn from early on. You get thrown in with a crowd because youre different or because a few people can't deal with you, you get labeled as less than them. I spent my entire life thinking I was unattractive, stupid, crazy and just plain fucked up because I was told I was. I never had a sense of stability in my life, I always moved from place to place and no one ever had a chance to get to know me so I never wanted to give them a chance but all that is changing. I know now where my limits came from and I know now that they are in my hands and my hands alone and I will control them.
Maybe I am a little fucked up. But I'm not living by anyones standards anymore, I've found myself and who I want to be and I will be it without shame. I won't apologize anymore to anyone for who I am and what I want to do. I've found my strengths and my weaknesses and am fully confident in who I have evolved into and will continue to be.
For my whole life and especially the past 5 years I destroyed a lot of my self mentally and physically but it's all gone now. My mind is sharp and clear, I've gotten rid of thoughts and issues from the past that held me down. Hours upon hours spent stuck in my head, stuck in a room with drugs, pills and alcohol, my entire body scarred and mutiliated trying to feel something real for once. To really feel alive I thought I had to be on the brink of death and by all means I should be but I'm not. I won't take my life for granted anymore. I've broken all addictions mentally and physically and have finally transcended to the next level. From here anything is possible.